


Two Sides Of The Same Coin

by Gee_Gee



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Han Jisung | Han, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, HYUNSUNG, Han Jisung | Han has Anxiety, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Jisung and Hyunjin aren't friends at the start, Jisung is easily flustered, M/M, OT8, Rare Pairings, Slow Burn, Top Hwang Hyunjin, a lot of swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:00:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 30,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26444548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gee_Gee/pseuds/Gee_Gee
Summary: It was no secret that Jisung and Hyunjin had astrainedrelationship, to say the least.In their little misfit family that had been pulled together by Chan over the years – a collection of loose ends all looking for something to hold them together – the only two that hadn’t gelled immediately were the two in mention.That was, until things started to change for the better.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Implied Minho/Seungmin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 46
Kudos: 473





	1. Don't Cry Over Spilt Milk

It was no secret that Jisung and Hyunjin had a _strained_ relationship, to say the least.

In their little misfit family that had been pulled together by Chan over the years – a collection of loose ends all looking for something to hold them together – the only two that hadn’t gelled immediately were the two in mention. Even Minho and Seungmin and their bickering was only surface level; it was a bad kept secret that the two were often found cuddling once everyone else had gone to bed.

The eight of them shared a house that was taller than it was wide, in the downtown of the city. It wasn’t without it’s problems (the windows whistled in high winds, the boiler was temperamental at best and the fuses kept tripping when too many of them were using the electricity), but it was a place to call home and wasn’t too far from the University most of them were currently studying at. 

It was enough.

The ground floor was quite open plan, with the living room, dining room and kitchen all connected by high archways and a small bathroom tucked under the stairs. The first floor housed Chan, Minho and Seungmin along with their shared bathroom. The second floor belonged to Jisung, Hyunjin, Changbin and Felix as well as their shared bathroom. Jeongin was in the attic room, quite happy to take what the others were reluctant to have, being the youngest.

Chan had graduated the year previous and although he was working at the local gym, he spent most of his spare time producing music, trying anything and everything to get picked up by a label. Unfortunately, that meant the older boy barely slept until eventually his body couldn’t physically stay awake any longer. Similarly, Minho had graduated only the month previous and had managed to land himself a job as an assistant dance instructor at a small local studio. It didn’t really pay the bills, but he was happy and although they didn’t really talk about it with the younger boys, most of them knew Chan was covering for him.

Changbin and Felix shared a room in their 7-bed house and as much as it was for convenience in the beginning, it didn’t take long before the two started gravitating around each other in a more intimate way. Changbin was going into his final year and much like Chan, he was often found producing and performing in small dingy music bars when his time allowed.

Felix, Seungmin, Hyunjin and Han were going into their second year – none of them currently worked, their student loans covering what they needed with scraps to spare.

That left Jeongin, the baby of the house, who was barely 18 and just about to start his first year. Surprisingly, Jeongin was one of the first ones Chan ‘adopted’ at the tender age of 16 – his parents were barely around and he’d been trying to fend for himself when he’d met Chan. The rest was history.

Having eight young men all under one roof was chaotic at the best of times, but for the most part, they wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. _For the most part_ –

“Yah! Who left this much milk?!” Jisung frowned, holding up the mostly empty carton of milk. There was maybe an inch of milk at most left; he glanced forlorn at his already portioned bowl of cereal that he was now going to have to eat dry – maybe he could pour the dregs of the milk into a glass and sip as he ate.

“Hyunjinnie Hyung had cereal and a glass of milk earlier –“ Jeongin piped up from where he was sat at the dining room table, visible through the archway that connected the kitchen and dining room.

“He had both? At the same time? Fucking selfish…” Jisung cursed under his breath, angrily pouring what was left of the milk (barely enough to fill half of his glass). His muttering continued until he was sat opposite the Maknae, spoon clashing against the bottom of the bowl, grimacing at how immediately dry his mouth became with the first bite. Jeongin stayed silent as he finished his toast and jam off, not wanting to take sides in their never-ending feuding.

“Didn’t realise I had to run what I eat by you every time I get hungry” Jisung tensed, spoon frozen halfway to his mouth as Hyunjin quipped at him from where he’d appeared from the living room.

“Or maybe just be considerate that seven other people live here and might want milk, asshole” His eyes flickered up to meet Hyunjin’s nonchalant gaze. It infuriated him how indifferent the taller seemed at all times towards him, as if he wasn’t worth the breath it took to fight. It didn’t help that he couldn’t keep his own emotions in check long enough to appear the same; it was always written all over his face, exactly what he was thinking.

“ _Boo-fucking-hoo_ , we’re doing a grocery shop today anyway – it’s literally not a big deal” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, turning to disappear back to wherever he’d came from, making it clear the conversation was over.

“ _Boys_ ” Chan’s voice was stern but clearly exhausted as he slouched into the kitchen. He was the only one working today, with university not starting for another few weeks and so the only one with the actual right to be annoyed over being up so early. “It’s 10 in the morning, can we not do this right now?”

“Sorry Hyung” Jisung pouted, gaze turned back to his still half full bowl. His appetite was gone though, Hyunjin killing his mood as he always did. If Hyunjin had apologised he hadn’t heard it; instead Jisung shot Jeongin an apologetic smile as he stood, slipping past Chan quietly to dump the rest of his cereal in the trash, before heading for the stairs himself.

He really didn’t know what it was about Hyunjin that put him so on edge. Every word out of the other boy’s mouth had him tensing, every smug glance or petulant glare had him itching to retort.

It wasn’t even as if Jisung was problematic to get on with, he didn’t think – none of the other boys had issues with him and he really hated when any of them fought. So why couldn’t Hyunjin just give him a break? Minho said they were too similar, both big personalities in a small house. But Jisung argued that Changbin was equally present in terms of who was the loudest, but managed to get on with both of them just fine. Minho just shrugged, looking as over it as Jisung felt and for a moment he felt guilty – it was hardly nice for the rest of the house to be stuck in a constant whirlwind of fights.

Jisung paused as he reached his floor, glancing towards the door opposite his own – the one that belonged to Hyunjin.

He’d had many moments like this, where he’d debated knocking and trying to sort out whatever their shit was. But each time he thought was the right one, something had stopped him. This time, it was the hushed but hurried tone of Hyunjin’s voice coming from behind the door. It sounded like he was on the phone and Jisung knew better than to interrupt and cause another fight in the process.

Sighing, he turned and entered his own room, door shutting quietly behind him. Today was not the day.

~~

By the time dinner had rolled around, there was only 3 of them left in the house. Chan was still at work and Minho had taken Jeongin with him to the gym to keep Chan company for a bit; Changbin had decided to take Felix out for a date, probably to their favourite little dumpling shop that was a few blocks away (it was super cheap and the Ajumma who ran it was particularly fond of the pair).

Unfortunately, that left himself, Seungmin and Hyunjin to fend for themselves, which more often than not meant ordering in or eating instant noodles. Had it just been the two of them, they’d have most likely eaten separately, but with Seungmin in the house too, Jisung didn’t want to cause a scene by not eating with them.

“I’ve been seriously craving Jokbal… or maybe sushi” Hyunjin mused aloud while thumbing through the delivery apps he had on his phone.

“With what money?” Jisung snorted, eyes glued to his own screen. “What about this new pizza place? Felix mentioned it was good”

“You know I hate pizza, dumbass” Just like that, the simple task of ordering food fell into their usual routine. A heavy sigh sounded from between them, where Seungmin was sat arms crossed over his chest, frown deep set on his face as he glared between the two of them.

“For fuck’s sake, can we not have one night of peace, just _one_?” Seungmin gave both of their shoulders a shove, before leaning over to rest his chin on Jisung’s shoulder to watch as he browsed. “Chicken is always good” Jisung hummed in agreement, not wanting to put his friend out more than he already had. When Hyunjin also gave his consent, they managed to place their order with only one or two comments made.

Seungmin was in charge of what they watched, not even bothering to ask what the other two wanted in fear it would start their Nth argument of the day.

Jisung settled against his side, head lolling onto Seungmin’s shoulder. He had always been a cuddler, second only to Felix who was almost always touching at least one of them at all times. Glancing over his shoulder, to the other end of the sofa, he saw Hyunjin still tapping away at his phone. His knee occasionally knocked with Seungmin’s but as a whole, he seemed to be keeping his distance. It wasn’t as if the taller boy wasn’t also a bit of a cuddler either, so he could only assume he didn’t want to cuddle into Seungmin’s right side and end up too close to Jisung.

_Whatever._

Turning his attention back to the latest episode of Running Man, Jisung found himself easily giggling along, sagging further into Seungmin as he relaxed.

When a firm knock sounded on the front door, it was Hyunjin who stood first, eyeing the two of them with an unreadable look in his eyes as he passed. He was acting even weirder than normal and it was putting Jisung on edge. With a gentle nudge, he was pushed more upright as Seungmin ducked into the kitchen to grab whatever they would need.

The smell hit him and his stomach rumbled loudly just as Hyunjin returned; chuckling sheepishly, he rubbed at his stomach, eyes glued to the bags which were placed on the coffee table in front of him. It was second nature to slide to the floor and shuffle closer (the sofas belonged to all of them and it was a silent agreement to try not to eat on them, to prevent further staining). What wasn’t expected, was the way Hyunjin settled on the floor on the side of the table adjacent to his, instead of walking back to where he’d been sat.

Their knees bumped for a moment as they got comfy and Jisung tensed, eyes automatically flicking to his face, fully expecting Hyunjin to snip at him. When he didn’t even so much as glance his direction, simply leaning forward to unpack the bags, Jisung blinked. That was unusual, but entirely unwelcome. He knew he wasn’t the only one who thought it was odd when Seungmin padded back in, pausing for a moment to regard them both before slowly returning to his position next to Jisung.

If Hyunjin could tell Jisung felt weirded out, he didn’t let on, eyes flitting between the TV and his food. Attempting to do the same, Jisung crammed his mouth full the way he normally did (the boys joked he ate like a hamster, but it was just how he’d always eaten) and pointedly payed extra attention to the TV. At one point, he accidentally met Seungmin’s gaze, who simply raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing.

It was almost involuntary, the way his eyes kept drifting to Hyunjin. He wasn’t sure whether he was expecting Hyunjin to suddenly snap, or what, but he couldn’t keep his eyes away too long.

His knee was bouncing lightly, an out for the nervous energy buzzing around him. He almost hadn’t even realised he was doing it under a hand landed firmly on his leg, fingers digging in ever-so-slightly. “Can you stop, it’s distracting as hell” Hyunjin’s eyes were sharp as ever when they turned to him and before Jisung could really even process, the hand was gone and Hyunjin had already returned to eating. On a normal day, Jisung would have snapped back, said something he probably didn’t really mean, or continued to bounce his knee just to spite him. But something felt different and he couldn’t put his finger on it, but even as he could see Seungmin side eyeing them, he said nothing.

Maybe this was the start of change. Or maybe he was just finally losing it.


	2. Sharp Tongues

The weirdness lingered beyond that night. They’d finished their food and cleaned up without much further incidents, even to the point where Jisung could tell Seungmin was as confused as he was. Not that he was exactly complaining, but it irked him that Hyunjin seemed to have the power to decide if and when they fight.

He supposed he should have just been happy to have some reprieve, whether he understand the logic behind it or not.

It wasn’t that the bickering had stopped per say; Hyunjin still called Jisung stupid when he’d accidentally broken a mug and Jisung had still called Hyunjin a prick when he’d stolen the leftover pizza that Jisung had bought. But Jisung swore that the words were starting to lack the harshness they used to hold. As much as he wanted to know if the others felt the same, the last thing he wanted was to bring it up and for him to just be imagining things, or for it to get back to Hyunjin and it push him off whatever path he’d started on.

So instead, he started paying extra attention to Hyunjin. One morning, the taller boy was making himself eggs for breakfast when Jisung wandered in looking for food. It was as Jisung shuffled over to the fridge, pulling out the orange juice that was already half empty that Hyunjin shot him a glance.

A few more minutes of silence later, Jisung still couldn’t decide what he wanted for breakfast (more like brunch at this point). He heard Hyunjin huff before the clattering of plates sounded on the bench between them. Confused, Jisung glanced to his left only to see Hyunjin spooning the eggs onto not one – but two plates, alongside some rather dark looking toast.

Who was he making breakfast for?

Pouting, he shut the fridge with more force than he’d intended, moving to grab a glass out of the cupboard. “Pour me some too” Rolling his eyes and muttering a _‘please’_ under his breath on Hyunjin’s behalf, he reluctantly got another glass, still pouting about the fact that no one had made _him_ breakfast.

Just as he’d put the orange juice back in the fridge, turning to take his juice and leave, Hyunjin made a point of shoving the second plate across the countertop towards him without sparing a glance. Jisung froze, staring blankly at the plate – there was no way that Hwang Hyunjin had made him breakfast. He debated pinching himself, almost convinced he was still soundly asleep in his bed and he’d wake up just as hungry as he was now.

“Eat your food before it gets cold… idiot” Hyunjin muttered the last word, but Jisung still caught it. His head whipped around, ready to bite back as always but he held his tongue, mind still reeling. 

Reluctantly picking up his food, he followed Hyunjin to where he was sat at the dining table, phone playing a video in front of him as he ate. Jisung sat a few seats away, side eyeing the other boy as he also ate. The food was good, as much as he didn’t want to admit it, not that he would ever admit that to Hyunjin. The reason behind it bugged him until he snapped, just as Hyunjin was about to stand to clean his plate.

“Why did you make me food? How did you even know I’d be up?” Hyunjin paused, eyebrow raised and he shot him an irritated look.

“You’re opposite me dumbass, I can hear you move around” Rolling his eyes, he continued on his path, totally ignoring the first question. “You’re welcome by the way”

“ _Gee, thanks Hyunjinnie, whatever would I do without you_ ” Jisung knew he was being out of line, but his nerves were shot and he was tired and honestly, he just needed an outlet – that just happened to be Hyunjin. “Also, don’t avoid the question asshole – you’ve never made me breakfast”

“And I’ll never do it again if this is your response, dickhead” By now, Jisung had tailed Hyunjin into the kitchen, voices raising as the distance between them shortened. They’d had very few actual physical fights, normally someone intervened before they had the chance to get that far. No doubt someone would hear them soon and appear like they always did.

Jisung felt his anger boil, nostrils flaring – a stark contrast to the relatively impassive look on Hyunjin’s face – but he could tell from the way the veins in Hyunjin’s neck strained that it was a façade.

“What? Nothing to say? Funny, normally you never shut the fuck u-“ Jisung’s fist collided with Hyunjin’s jaw, not particularly hard but it was enough to knock him back a few steps, eyes showing the shock but also the fury clear as day. He hadn’t even really meant to hit him, but his body had moved before his brain could catch up. The guilt washed his anger away like a bucket of ice water and he faltered, hand twitching as if to reach out. Hyunjin cradled his jaw, shoving past a bewildered looking Changbin and Felix, who’s eyes darted between the two of them as if it would help them understand.

A silent look was exchanged and Felix took off up the stairs, no doubt chasing down Hyunjin. Changbin’s frown was evident and Jisung let out an almighty sigh, slumping against the fridge as he slid to the floor, head falling into his hands.

“Want to explain what just happened? I thought things were better between you two –“ So it wasn’t just Jisung who’d noticed. “- But… _Jisung_ , you can’t just hit people. What did he do?” Changbin crouched in front of him, pulling his hands away from his face, eyes soft but tired. Whether he was physically of emotionally tired Jisung didn’t know, but it didn’t help his guilt any.

“Sorry Hyung… I don’t even know, he just pushes my buttons you know, I…” There was no excuse, not this time anyway. Hell, Hyunjin had literally fed him and he’d rewarded him with a bruised jaw.

Hanging his head in shame, Jisung avoided the concerned look from his Hyung, taking a deep breath before standing and collecting his plate from where he’d left it at the table. Hyunjin’s sat in the sink still, not exactly having had the chance to wash it before their fight. The least he could do was clean both plates, not that it would even scratch the surface of apologies he’d need to make. The devil on his shoulder told him that Hyunjin had started it, by avoiding his question and calling him names, but he knew they were just excuses. Name-calling wasn’t exactly uncommon for either of them; simply a way of gypping each other without needing a reason.

Changbin hadn’t left, instead choosing to watch him in silence – though Jisung couldn’t blame him for not wanting to talk to him, or maybe he simply didn’t know what to say. Either way, Jisung murmured another apology as he dragged his feet on the way to the stairs. “It’s not me you need to say sorry to Sungie” He knew that, but it would hardly be easy.

As he passed the first floor, he saw Chan and Minho stood talking by their doors, but they stopped as he passed. When he got to the second floor, he could hear the muffle of Felix trying to calm down Hyunjin, who sounded like he wanted to see anybody but Jisung right now. It was comical, at this point, how often he found himself here – except it was anything but funny. As much as he wanted to – needed to – apologise, he knew that going in now would most likely only result in another fight. Hyunjin needed to cool off first and so, like he always did, Jisung turned into his own room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

~~

He didn’t go down for dinner and no one came to get him.

As much as it shouldn’t hurt, given he was the one who had punched Hyunjin, it still stung to hear the voices downstairs and not be able to join in. They were his friends – his family – and he’d disappointed them again. Sometimes, on his darker days, he wondered why Chan let him stay. The thought was nonsense and the one time he’d been silly enough to voice it, Chan had sat him down and made him talk it out for just over 2 hours.

But it was hard to not fall into that habit of thinking, when he couldn’t even control his own body.

He didn’t even really know what it was about Hyunjin, or why it was just Hyunjin. Or maybe he did. Hyunjin was an easy addition for the rest of them; he was super pretty and tall and funny and was a good dancer, if a little lost just like the rest of them. Jisung had been jealous for a while, that Hyunjin got to look like he did and be as talented as he was. He’d thought the jealousy had passed, which it had – but in its place came a resistance, from both him and Hyunjin.

Perhaps it would always be this way between them. Strained at best.

Jisung figured he needed to make more of an effort not to bite back, even if Hyunjin came down on his hard. For the sake of his friends and his own sanity, he couldn’t keep on like this. But that was easier said than done, when Hyunjin couldn’t even seem to look at him and then went and made him breakfast. No one else. Just Jisung.

Groaning in frustration, Jisung stuffed his headphones into his ears and promptly rolled over, tugging his duvet over his head to mope in the darkness.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, he’d dozed off for a little and when he’d stirred, his phone was still on whatever playlist he’d selected. Hitting pause, he pushed himself to sit up, rubbing wearily at tired eyes. A quick glance at the time told him it was a little after 11pm and his stomach reminded him he’d yet to eat. What he also noticed was the dull ache in his right hand, a reminder of the day’s earlier events.

The house was almost eerily quiet when he stuck his head gingerly out of his bedroom door, peering around before braving a step out. Whether his housemates were angry at him or not, he just wasn’t sure he was ready to find out either way. Tiptoeing down the stairs, he paused at the first floor – nothing. Continuing on down, the coast seemed clear when he spotted the living room lights were off, no obvious sounds coming from anywhere. As he rounded the corner into the kitchen, he froze, there was the exact person he’d been trying to avoid.

A sense of déjà vu washed over him along with a deep feeling of dread. He could only pray that Hyunjin hadn’t heard him and that he could swiftly return to where he’d came from, hungry or not.

Alas, today was simply not his day because Hyunjin must have sensed his presence, eyes flicking over his shoulder and landing on him. His gaze was unreadable for a moment before it hardened, jaw clenched around the bruise that was starting to become visible. Jisung’s mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out – he knew he must have looked stupid, if the scoff and eye roll were anything to go by.

“Come to hit me again?” The words stung, but Jisung knew the taller boy had every right to be angry at him.

“No… Hyunjin I-“ Frowning, he was at loss at what to say. A simple sorry didn’t feel sincere enough, but there was nothing else really to say that wouldn’t prolong the tension. “I’m sorry” It was as if Hyunjin hadn’t even heard him, instead, continued on making the tea he was pouring, before moving to the freezer and retrieving an ice pack. An ice pack for the jaw Jisung had punched. Guilt washed over him all over again, as if it had just happened and he easily stepped aside as Hyunjin left, eyes turned towards the floor.

Being ignored was better than fighting… _right_?


	3. Morning Warnings

It was safe to say that Jisung hadn’t slept well that night. The thoughts of their fight plaguing his mind every time he’d just started to dip into sleep.

That’s how he found himself up before any of the others, before the clock even struck 9am. Taking a quiet shower to make himself feel more alive, he got dressed and slouched down the stairs with full intention of caffeinating himself until he could forget he’d gotten maybe a handful of hours sleep.

The sound of footsteps startled him out of his trance, frantically glancing back to see an equally tired looking Chan wander in. He had work at noon, so Jisung wasn’t sure why he was up so early. “Oh – hey Ji” Well he didn’t sound angry, which was always a plus. Chan paused for a moment, regarding him before continuing. “Do you want to go grab breakfast? I feel like we could both do with some greasy diner food right now”

Jisung agreed easily enough, following his Hyung to toe his sneakers on before heading off out, coffee pot long forgotten.

They made light conversation on the walk to their local 24-hour diner (another cheap and cheerful spot that fuelled them when they needed something heavier) and Jisung couldn’t help but feel nervous the whole way, expecting – knowing – that Chan would bring up the incident, as the unofficial head of the household. But he also knew that Chan was anything but judgemental. If there was one person that would have open ears and an open heart, it would be Chan.

He let out a sigh of relief when they pushed through the doors of the nearly empty diner, a jukebox in the corner playing Elvis to cover what would have been an uncomfortable silence.

Sliding into their usual booth in the far corner, Jisung watched as Chan smiled at the waitress – Sana – a pretty Japanese girl that obviously was very fond of his Hyung. “The usual for you boys?” Humming in agreement, Jisung entertained himself with the kids colouring pages littering the tables. There were only a few crayons left (most likely having gone home with sticky fingers), not that it really mattered. 

He was simply avoiding the inevitable. As if sensing his discomfort, Chan smiled at him – that same smile he used when he was about to bring up something he knew wouldn’t exactly be nice.

“Changbin told me what happened… well, kind of, but I spoke to Hyunjin too” Jisung simply hummed, eyes firmly on the half-coloured in drawing of Tinkerbell. “I just wanted to make sure you’re OK too, you know. I’m still not really sure why you hit him, but I know there must have been a reason” Swallowing the lump that was growing in his throat, his eyes flitted up to meet Chan’s; as kind as always. It didn’t help his emotions.

“Hyung, it’s so stupid, I don’t even…” Slumping back in his seat, he turned his attention to the mostly empty streets. “He made me breakfast, kind of, I don’t know if it was specifically meant for me but… anyway, I asked him why because he’s never made me breakfast and he dodged the question and said something as per usual that wound me up. Guess I was just having a bad day” His voice got quieter as he went on, saying it out loud only made the whole situation sound even dumber. They’d literally fought over nothing at all. “I just don’t know why he hates me”

“Sungie, I don’t think he hates you – he probably thinks you hate him too” Chan was probably right on the second part, but there was no way that Hyunjin didn’t hold some kind of resentment towards him, for whatever reason.

They were interrupted by Sana, who shot them an apologetic smile that told them she’d probably heard more than she should have and she placed their food and drinks on the table, spinning and disappearing without a word. Chan didn’t hesitate before shovelling food into his mouth, clearly hungrier than Jisung had realised. He turned his attention to his own food, knowing that this conversation was far from over, simply content to wait until Chan said whatever else he needed to. It was a few mouthfuls later that Chan said something that sent his mind spiralling.

“You know, when you two first started bickering, Minho and I were convinced it some kind of playground thing” Jisung cocked his head, not sure where his Hyung was going with this. “The kind where boys pull girls’ hair because they want them to notice them” The silence was notable even over the music, Jisung wasn’t sure what expression was on his face but it must have been one that urged Chan to explain himself further. “I thought, maybe, that it was just playful bickering, that you secretly fancied Hyunjin, or the other way… but that didn’t last long. Do you remember the first time you guys got into a physical fight?”

He did, of course. It was the first time he’d hit anyone or been hit.

“Yeah” Frowning, he pushed his eggs around his plate, much too reminiscent of the previous morning’s breakfast. “You, me and Changbin Hyung were joking around with some music and Hyunjin said my rapping was bad or something to that effect and I replied with ‘well your dancing is shit too’” Scoffing almost affectionately, the memory wasn’t necessarily a negative one anymore. He could look back and laugh at how 17-year-old them were definitely not great at either rapping or dancing.

It had escalated to the point where Hyunjin had shoved him into a wall, already standing quite a bit taller than Jisung even back then. Jisung had retorted with his own shove and before anyone knew it they were rolling around on the floor, scrapping more than actually fighting, until they’d been pulled apart.

“There was a moment, where you two just looked at each other and… you know what, it doesn’t even matter. The point is that it’s clearly getting worse and we can’t carry on like this – you know you can’t go on like this, hell you don’t even know why you’re fighting anymore Jisung” As much as he wanted to ask what he’d meant by the start of the sentence, he wasn’t sure now was the time, not with how solemn Chan looked all of a sudden. “So, me and the boys have had a chat”

_Oh no_. Here it comes; the breaking point.

“We’re going to head out for a long weekend” He paused again, an apologetic look in his eyes. “Without you and Hyunjin” Jisung let out a shaky breath, teeth gnawing at his bottom lip. “We’re not asking either of you to leave – quite the opposite actually. We’re hoping that some time alone might help you solve this without the pressure of any of us being around”

Well that wasn’t how he thought it was going to go. It was actually far better and although he obviously had massive reservations about being alone with Hyunjin, he was just happy to stay. “Yes, Hyung” 

“I’ve already spoken to Hyunjin about it, we’re actually leaving in a few hours – I got the time off work so… Please try and spend some time together, you two are so similar, there’s no reason you can’t be friends” Jisung almost scoffed; Funny, Minho gave the exact same reasoning for why they weren’t getting along. But instead, he simply nodded again, shooting his Hyung a weak smile as he watched Chan pull enough money to cover both of them out of his wallet. “C’mon, let’s head back” Back to a house of people who knew the plan. It was an uncomfortable thought that they’d been talking about him, but he knew it was just his insecurities rearing their ugly heads again – he’d put them all in this position and so he couldn’t reasonably be that upset about them wanting a solution.

He just wasn’t convinced this solution was going to the ideal one.

~~

The house was abuzz with noise as 6 of them fuzzed over what they had and hadn’t packed, what bags to pack them in, whether they’d need swimming trunks – anything and everything that could have been a question had been answered. Jisung watched bittersweet from the sofa as Felix struggled to fit his favourite stuffed toy into his backpack along with everything else. The feeling turned fonder when he watched Changbin pack the toy into his own bag instead, looking away to give them a moment of privacy when Felix leaned in for a kiss.

The only one he didn’t have eyes on was Hyunjin, who had apparently been up for breakfast but disappeared for a shower just as the two of them had returned from the diner.

“Boys, we need to go or we’ll miss the train” Chan’s voice boomed over the commotion and it only seemed to cause more of a scramble for shoes and jackets and keys. “Everybody out of the door in the next 2 minutes or we’re leaving without you” Jisung spotted Minho helping Seungmin with his bags, although he could hear the playful gypping still – he understood what Chan had meant; he and Hyunjin could be like that, instead of the vicious intent behind their words.

He stood as the last of them bundled out of the door, waving over their shoulders with smiles on their faces. As much as the reason behind the holiday wasn’t exactly the best, a holiday was a holiday.

His smiled faded as they rounded the corner out of his sight, hand dropping back down to his side. The weather was amazing and he’d never been more jealous of a trip in his life. They had a tiny back yard, more concrete than grass, but it was good for barbeques and generally soaking up what little sun they got in the city. Maybe he could cook some meat for dinner, that might make Hyunjin happy. He silently thanked his Hyungs when he opened the fridge and saw enough food to last them, no problem. One less thing to worry about.

It was odd, how silent the house was with only the two of them in it. Jisung wasn’t sure whether it felt uncomfortable yet, or whether it was just odd – it wasn’t often he had the house basically to himself.

He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to do; on a normal day, he’d have pulled Felix or Jeongin to play some video games with him, or would have gone to the gym with his Hyungs, or watched dramas with Seungmin. Those things didn’t seem as fun to do by himself. Glancing longingly out the window, he debated heading out for a little, maybe to the park or even just around the block. But Chan had almost begged him to spend time with Hyunjin and escaping out without him felt counterproductive.

Instead, he settled on grabbing the portable speaker that the boys had thankfully left and wandered out into their backyard, slumping happily into one of the mismatched camping chairs. The sun was warm, almost too warm for his current outfit. Pulling his shirt up and over his head, he leaned forward to roll the pant legs of his sweats up to just below his knees. It had been a while since he’d taken the time to just sunbathe, especially with no one else around.

Picking a BIBI playlist to relax to, he set the music off, not loud enough that it should disturb Hyunjin from his bedroom, but enough to drown out any nearby noises from their neighbours.

His eyes drifted shut, fatigue taking over him as his body remembered just how little sleep he’d gotten. The music helped his mind relax and his sleep was dreamless, a welcome change. Some time later, he was woken up by the sound of a car being dragged next to him. He was almost tempted to ignore it and keep sleeping, until a bottle was tossed into his lap. _Fuck_ , he’d almost forgotten who the only other person in the house was. Eyes shooting open, he saw Hyunjin settle into the chair he must have opened, before glancing down to the bottle – sunscreen.

“Thanks” He muttered, a little confused as to why Hyunjin would bother stopping him from burning. He could already tell his skin felt a little tight, maybe he’d been asleep longer than he thought. The playlist was still going on new songs though, so it couldn’t have been _that_ long.

Lathering up anyway, he handed the bottle to Hyunjin, who did the same, shirt also coming off over his head. Jisung couldn’t help the way his eyes drifted over the paler torso. The boys didn’t really have any shame, at least one of them in a state of undress more often than not. But it wasn’t often Jisung really paid much attention to any of them, let alone Hyunjin. But Chan’s comments lingered in his mind. Jisung had always been jealous of Hyunjin’s height and wide shoulder, even if he was leaner than Jisung had become as of late, he was still pretty. 

Shaking his head, he shut his eyes again; those kinds of thoughts were dangerous when the situation was confusing enough between them as it was. In doing so, he missed the way Hyunjin’s eyes swept over him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be the 'official' start of the relationship development, hopefully it'll be out tomorrow!


	4. Winds of Change

Together, they lounged until the tall buildings around them caught the edge of the sun, casting a pretty orange hue over the yard. 

It had been surprisingly easy; the silence was comfortable and Jisung didn’t even complain when Hyunjin changed the playlist without asking. He counted that as a small victory on his own part, less snapping meant less fighting. Speaking of fighting, his eyes ran over the bruise which hadn’t come in as bad as he’d first thought, which was a relief. It still looked like it would be sore to touch, but it would most likely be gone before the other boys got back.

When Hyunjin turned, catching him staring, Jisung just feigned a smile. “Hungry?” An eyebrow was raised, but the taller said nothing simply nodding, pulling his own shirt over his head which only served to remind Jisung he was still shirtless. Quickly grabbing his own shirt, he beelined for the kitchen, letting out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding.

Fishing out several different packs of meat, Jisung grabbed the tools he would need and wandered back out, feeling a little more collected.

“Can you sort out some ramyun while I grill?” Hyunjin hummed in acknowledgment, stretching before pulling his hair back into a pony tail. Jisung had obviously noticed how long the other’s hair was getting, long enough that it almost rested on his shoulders. He’d recently dyed it blonde and it did nothing but make him look even prettier than he already did. It was truly unfair. Pointedly turning his attention away from Hyunjin, Jisung went about lighting their outdoor grill (it was several years old at this point and he really wasn’t sure how it was still going).

There were few things Jisung liked more than the smell of grilling meat. His mouth watered as he flipped the strips, mentally willing the process to hurry the fuck up so he could eat already. After a few more torturous minutes, it was finally done and he quickly plated everything up in a heap, shoving at the coals with his tongs to try and snub the fire.

“I’m done in here, I’ll be in the living room” Hyunjin called out to him, head sticking out the door briefly before vanishing again. Cursing under his breath, he looked longingly at the food and then back to the burning embers. Muttering a quiet ‘ _Fuck it_ ’ under his breath, he decided the fire wouldn’t magically combust without him and sped into the living room, plate in hand.

He was a little surprised to see that Hyunjin had set up the coffee table for them both, two sets of chopsticks, two drinks, two everything. Jisung could only hope he masked his surprise well enough when their eyes met as he walked into the room. “We’re watching The Masked Singer” There was no question in Hyunjin’s statement; the show was already playing in the background and Jisung knew it wasn’t worth the argument, especially not while their food was waiting.

Settling onto the floor next to Hyunjin, Jisung portioned himself a small bowl of noodles out of their shared pot. Sighing in content, he closed his eyes and savoured the flavour; it registered in his mind that Hyunjin had chosen sesame oil ramyun, which was Jisung’s favourite. In fact, from what Jisung could remember, he didn’t think he’d even seen Hyunjin actively choose it – especially when it wasn’t the only flavour they had. As much as Hyunjin appeared to be giving him the silent treatment, maybe this was his way of apologising, as much as Jisung’s was not snapping back.

It was a start in the right direction, if nothing else.

He watched with apprehension as Hyunjin picked at the meat before eating it, worried that he’d overcooked it or burnt it or literally anything that might mean the other wouldn’t like it. Hyunjin must have sensed him watching as he paused in chewing. “What?”

“Nothing… just, is it bad?” Jisung eyed the plate, it didn’t look bad, in fact he was quite happy with how it had come out given he was definitely rushing a little. He heard a scoff, whipping his attention back to Hyunjin who looked more amused than Jisung had seen in a while, even if it was most likely at his expense.

“Yeah dumbass, it’s _awful_ ” If the sarcasm in his voice wasn’t clear enough, Hyunjin grabbed about three pieces of meat at once, loading them all into his mouth until his cheeks puffed out. Jisung couldn’t help the disbelieving chuckle that escaped him and he also couldn’t help but notice how cute Hyunjin was when he wasn’t at his throat. Even the insult didn’t bother him like it normally would. It still tugged at something inside of him – that need to clap back, but it was obvious that it lacked the venom it had the day they’d fought.

“Shut up” His comeback was weak and he knew it, but honestly he couldn’t bring himself to care; it was as if the tension was lifting off his shoulders. Grabbing himself some of the meat, he pointedly kept his eyes on the screen, not really watching but he couldn’t let Hyunjin catch him staring too often and him get the wrong impression.

The rest of their dinner continued much the same. While they didn’t necessarily have much conversation, the silence wasn’t uncomfortable and it was kind of novel to spend alone time together.

When their dishes were empty and The Masked Singer was ending, Jisung was left with a choice. He could use the natural conclusion to escape up to his room, or he could attempt to continue spending time with Hyunjin. The first was obviously the safer choice, but it went against what he’d promised his Hyung – plus, he knew it was important to try and make amends.

Mind made up, Jisung went for the remote sat innocently between them. Unfortunately, it seemed like Hyunjin had the same idea and their hands landed on the remote at the same time. There was a moment where their eyes met, both clearly waiting for the other to back off. When it didn’t happen, Jisung could almost see the challenge grow in the taller’s eyes and it only served to tighten his own grip in response.

Swiftly pulling it towards himself, he wasn’t surprised when Hyunjin’s grip didn’t loosen, instead a bizarre tug of war started between them. He could hear the channels changing every few seconds in the backgrounds as buttons were accidentally pressed in their struggle. Turning towards Hyunjin, Jisung’s other hand wrapped around a paler wrist, trying to peel his fingers off with a high-pitched giggle.

“Yah!” Hyunjin huffed, using his body weight to get an advantage, in turn pulling Jisung up onto his knees with the force. To stop himself from falling head-first into Hyunjin, Jisung had to release one hand, which fell to brace by the taller’s knee.

“You picked the last show, it’s my turn, asshole!” Shuffling closer, he regained his grip, lifting the remote up in an attempt to twist it out of Hyunjin’s hands.

“Did you forget I’m taller, shortie?” _Fuck_ ¸ he kind of had, not that he would admit that out loud. Hyunjin also pushed himself up onto his knees, until they were kneeling inches away from each other. The extra few inches gave Hyunjin the advantage and Jisung felt the remote slipping through his fingers the higher it was raised.

Not one for giving up just like that, Jisung’s free hand latched onto Hyunjin’s ribs through the thin material of his shirt. It was a tactic he often used on the younger boys, knowing that most of them were incredibly ticklish. It seemed Hyunjin was no exception and when deft fingers tickled the sensitive skin of his ribs, his body jerked, hunching over in an escape attempt.

If Jisung hadn’t already gotten an eyeful of Hyunjin’s torso earlier that day, he would have soon realised the muscles hidden under when there was almost no give under his fingertips. His body buzzed with adrenaline as he grabbed for the remote from a defenceless Hyunjin, whooping in victory as he let out a heavy breath. 

However, he should have known better than to assume that was their fight over and done with.

“ _Oof_!” All of a sudden, he was looking at the ceiling, body having been flattened under the weight of Hyunjin – who had apparently taken to launching himself at Jisung, body weight easily knocking him over. “What the fu-“ A startled screech escaped him, cutting his own sentence off when long fingers got their revenge. Anywhere and everywhere that could be ticklish was targeted.

The remote was forgotten on the floor as desperate hands moved to defend, as tears formed with each wheeze of a laugh. Jisung was easily the most ticklish in the house and he couldn’t stop his body writhing in a poor plan of stopping the other. Hyunjin was taller and thus heavier; he stood no chance.

“Stop, stop, _oh my god_!” His wish wasn’t granted that easily, however.

“Admit I win - I get control of the TV” Hyunjin was just being cruel at this point, he was sure. Jisung could barely get a sentence out, lungs aching as he tried to control his giggling.

“Ok! Ok, you win!” His body sagged in relief as the tickling stopped, hands coming over to tiredly wipe at his eyes, chest heaving. 

Hyunjin was still perched over his hips, a smug look of victory sat on his face and on any other day, Jisung wouldn’t have given up so easily. The taller looked as dishevelled as Jisung felt; his shirt was crumpled, sitting off-skew on one shoulder, hinting at the sharp collarbone underneath. Jisung swallowed, suddenly feeling rather nervous. He had never looked at Hyunjin the way he had several times today, damn Chan for planting things in his head. But the longer he looked, the better Hyunjin looked, sat atop him, breath almost as heavy as his own.

Hyunjin swept a tongue over his dry lips and Jisung couldn’t stop the way his eyes tracked the movement involuntarily. He knew he’d been caught when Hyunjin’s smirk dropped slightly, his head tilting a little in confusion. It didn’t seem like he was about to make a snarky comment but Jisung didn’t exactly want to find out.

Suddenly (a curse or a blessing, he wasn’t sure), Jisung’s phone rang loudly from next to his head, startling them both. Before he could really process, Hyunjin had clambered off him, saying something about needing the bathroom before disappearing down the hall. His caller ID told him it was Changbin and he huffed a breath before picking up, rubbing at his own face as if that would stop the flush that was creeping up his neck. Even if they were the only two in, it still kind of felt like they’d been caught doing something they shouldn’t.

“Hey Hyung” He could only hope he didn’t sound as breathy as he thought he did. 

“Sungie, you’re alive!” He could hear the chatter of the rest of the boys in the background, but it didn’t cause the same longing that it had when they’d first left. “Where’s Hyunjinnie? You killed him yet?”

“ _No_ Hyung, he – he’s in the bathroom” Cursing his stuttering, he pushed himself to sit up, tugging at his shirt until it was sat more normally. Changbin said something he didn’t quite catch and he wasn’t even sure if it was aimed at him or one of the others. “What? I didn’t catch what you said”

“You alright? You sound kind of… winded” He could have sworn he heard a snigger that sounded an awful lot like Minho. A wave of panic washed over him; did he tell them he’d just had a tickle fight with Hyunjin? For some reason the thought of admitting that wasn’t exactly ideal, especially knowing that it would most likely only cause a wave of gossip among the group.

“I’m fine Hyung, stop being weird” He pouted and no doubt it showed in his voice, because Changbin simply cackled and proceeded to tell him about their day, whether he wanted to hear it or not. It was a welcome distraction though and it gave him time to clear his head and calm his body a little, before Hyunjin reappeared. “Hyunjin’s here if you want to talk to him, by the way” Changbin hummed in agreement and so Jisung passed the phone, definitely not noticing the way their hands brushed as the taller accepted it without really sparing him much of a glance.

“Hi Hyungie” Jisung hadn’t realised that Hyunjin’s bobble must have come out at some point; it was only as a hand was ran through it that his attention drifted to it. “No Hyungie” Sharp eyes shot his way for a split second before flitting back to the TV, but Jisung caught it anyway. It only made him more nervous as to what was being said – if they asked Hyunjin what they’d been doing, he might assume Jisung had already told them.

A happy laugh sounded and like a magnet, his eyes were back on the pretty smile and crinkled eyes. Not a look he got to see often, for obvious reasons.

“We’re just watching TV” As if a reminder of their play fight, two sets of eyes landed on the remote, still sat innocently on the floor. Taking his only opportunity, Jisung dived for it before Hyunjin had to chance, quickly putting on a show he liked to watch that he knew Hyunjin wasn’t overly fussed about. There was no way of Hyunjin changing it while still on the phone to their housemates.

Hyunjin simply rolled his eyes, lips twitching up as he responded to whatever it was that Changbin had said.

If Jisung felt a little smug about a minor victory, he would admit - and if Hyunjin let him get away with it, _well_ , that was on him.


	5. Kiss It Better

For the first time in a long time, Jisung woke up with morning wood. He’d been having the nicest dream, of pretty hands and lips. He didn’t remember all that much, but clearly it left its mark on him.

He had two choices – he could handle it before he got up, or have a cold shower. While the second option was tempting purely for the fact that it was almost oppressively hot that day, there was no way he was going to choose that over his own hand. Tiredly kicking his duvet off, hands made quick work of removing his boxers (the only clothes he’d lasted the night in, given he was way too hot as it was).

Letting his mind drift back to the dream, it wasn’t difficult to get back into that mind space. His right hand smoothed over his stomach, nails lightly scraping the faint trail of hair leading to where his dick was curved up towards his stomach. Meanwhile, his left hand rose to circle his nipple, thumb lightly grazing the hardening nub.

Jisung sighed, eyes falling shut as his mind pictured a different hand to his own, specifically one with long fingers and manicured nails. He tried not to dwell too long on who the hand belonged to, instead, circling his hand around himself. Thumbing at the tip, Jisung gathered the precum that was spilling, using it to make the slide a little easier. His toes curled as his grip tightened, hand speeding up until he could hear the slick slide with each pump. 

“ _Hah~_ ” The noise escaped almost involuntarily as he imagined plump lips closing around him, his own hands growing faster and harsher in their movements.

He stood no chance of lasting long, who knows how long he’d been dreaming but he’d been on the edge long enough that he didn’t mind. He huffed a shallow breath as he tightened his fist as his hand reached the tip of hid dick, flushed a pretty pink and leaking a steady stream of precum. Hips kicking up as his nail caught his nipple ever-so-slightly, a whine sounding maybe a little too loud.

Jisung felt the coil in his stomach tighten, legs spreading on instinct as his eyes rolled back – _thud_.

His eyes whipped open at the sound of Hyunjin’s door opening and closing and just like that, the hand and lips in his dream had an all-too-familiar face and body and his orgasm ripped through him like a hurricane. The moan that came with it was definitely too loud to not be heard by Hyunjin, but there was nothing Jisung could do about it, body still quaking in the aftermath. With his eyes shut, his mind (un)helpfully provided him with the image of Hyunjin between his legs, smirk on his face and eyes taunting. 

“ _Fuck_ ” Forcing his eyes open and mind away from his housemate, he glanced at the mess coating his stomach with a grimace. Not only had he let his mind slip into a place it definitely shouldn’t have gone, but now he needed a shower too and there was no way of covering why he was having the shower. It wasn’t that any of them were prudish – hell, they shared a floor with Changbin and Felix. But that didn’t mean he wanted everyone to know when he was having alone time.

It also didn’t help that the image of Hyunjin was burned into his memory as if it were real.

Gingerly, he wiped at his stomach with a tissue, tossing it carelessly in the direction of his bin. Next came the task of making it to the bathroom unseen – he had heard Hyunjin’s door, but there was no guarantee the boy would be downstairs for long and the last thing he wanted was an awkward encounter. The rest of the boys would be back sometime the following evening and so technically this was the last day that the two had together alone.

Cracking his door open, Jisung stuck his head out enough to glance down both end of the corridor before deeming it safe enough to make a run for the bathroom.

His shower was hot, skin pink as he scrubbed himself clean with extra vigour. Normally, he’d have had a longer shower (especially without the normal queue of people fighting over bathroom space), but he had forgotten his phone in his hurry and being left alone with his own thoughts was apparently a dangerous game to play.

Setting about the rest of his morning routine, Jisung secured the towel around his waist, swinging the bathroom door open without a care.

It was just his luck that the moment he stepped out was the same moment Hyunjin appeared on their floor again. There was an audible pause from both parties and Jisung didn’t miss how Hyunjin’s sharp eyes tracked a few trails of water running down his chest. It made him feel more naked than he was, hands automatically reaching to secure the towel. Jisung could feel the flush creeping up his neck and over his chest, even though there was no way Hyunjin could know what he’d been thinking about earlier.

“Are you done with the bathroom?” Hyunjin’s question shook him out of his thoughts and all he could manage was a jerky nod, darting into the safety of his own room without further warning. _Smooth_.

Flopping onto his bed, not caring that his sheets were getting damp beneath him, Jisung groaned into his pillow. He knew he was probably being a little dramatic, but he wasn’t used to whatever his knew relationship with Hyunjin was – he was used to harsh words and harsher fists, not whatever sort of truce they’d called. Especially not when the change also prompted a change in how Jisung’s brain and dick registered the taller boy.

Jisung was honestly a little surprised that Hyunjin hadn't made some sort of comment about his earlier... _activities_ , but nonetheless he was glad.

He had no idea how he was going to spend another day and a half just the two of them without making things visibly tense. “Just suck it up, Jisung” Slapping lightly at his own cheeks, Jisung gave himself a quiet pep talk and set about getting dressed enough for whenever he braved going downstairs.

~~

Call him a coward, but it took several more hours before Jisung braved going downstairs.

It was his grumbling stomach that finally pushed him out of his room, when the smell of cooking wafted up through the house. Almost sheepishly, he traipsed into the kitchen to find Hyunjin working on something. He could smell the Tteokbokki before he saw it and the sight of Kimbap ingredient made him smile. It was one of the first things they’d learned to cook as a house, quick and relatively simple to make – it was a student essential.

Judging by how things had gone the previous day and such, Jisung was hopeful that Hyunjin had planned on sharing.

The taller didn’t even turn around to acknowledge him, instead gestured towards the pan where the Tteokbokki sauce was gently bubbling away. “Add the rice cakes, they’re on the bench” Nodding, but then realising that Hyunjin couldn’t see him, he made a noise of agreement and set about the task, tearing open the packet of dried rice cakes to pour a generous amount in. A quick glance told him Hyunjin was currently trying to roll their Kimbap, vegetables all chopped surprisingly neatly and tuna pre-seasoned in a bowl on the side.

He felt a little bad that Hyunjin had done this all by himself, but maybe it was for the best – things didn’t tend to go too well when they were in the kitchen together.

Speaking of, Jisung was far too absorbed in side-eyeing Hyunjin to realise that the pan the other had chosen had metal handles and when he went to grab it to give the contents a stir, the hot metal singed the palm of his left hand. “ _Fuck, fuck, fuck_!” Wrenching his hand away, he cradled the stinging hand in his other, pouting at how pink the skin had already become.

“Dumbass, what were you thinking? You know that pan gets hot!” Jisung scowled, but let Hyunjin’s own hands bring his burned one closer to his face to inspect. “Go run it under the tap” Huffing, Jisung did as told, muttering under his breath. He didn’t understand why they still used that pan – several of them had hurt themselves at this point and it just seemed more of a hazard than a help at this point.  
His eyes watered as the stinging picked up and quickly stuck it under the cold tap, sagging pathetically against the counter, fully ready to mope around for the rest of the day. 

Today was just not going his way.

All he could do was watch as Hyunjin finished everything else off, hand almost going numb the longer he kept it under. But he knew that if he didn’t want it to blister, there was nothing else he could do. Musing that maybe they had some burn gel or aloe vera left in the med kit that Felix insisted they keep; he didn’t notice when the other was done cooking until he appeared next to him.

“How bad is it, idiot?” Jisung could have sworn Hyunjin looked actually concerned as he knocked the water off to inspect it. It still stung like a bitch, but the skin looked less inflamed which was good.

“It hurts like a bitch, why’d you even use that pan asshole?” He was nothing if not petty when it came to Hyunjin.

“Oh, so it’s _my_ fault you can’t use your singular brain cell long enough to think that metal might get hot” It was is a fire had lit between them; an all too familiar feeling that ended up with Jisung’s fist meeting Hyunjin’s jaw. It felt different this time though, although maybe Jisung’s brain was wired a little differently now.

“I was watching you!” _Oops_ – maybe that wasn’t the smartest thing to admit. “It’s at least a little your fault”

Hyunjin eyed him for a moment, surprise poorly concealed in his eyes. Long fingers grasped his wrist, pulling it towards Hyunjin until he felt soft lips press a chaste kiss right on his palm. Jisung’s mind went blank, mouth falling open as he watch Hyunjin watch him, smirk twitching at his lips as he let go; Jisung couldn’t stop the way his arm flopped limp to his side. “Food’s ready” That was it?! Blinking rapidly, he could only stand and watch helplessly as Hyunjin gathered their food and wandered off.

Finally snapping out of it when he heard the TV turn on, Jisung made quick work of the last few things that needed bringing through and with a weird sense of déjà vu, settled beside Hyunjin on the floor.

Was he supposed to bring it up? Would that only make things weirder? Jisung wasn’t good with stuff like this. Although he was as charismatic as they came, it wasn’t every day someone that was supposed to hate you kissed your hand better. He could still feel the lingering kiss on his palm and against his better judgment, he clenched the fist, ignoring he way the burn screamed at him.

Jisung was thankful that the burn was on his non-dominant hand though, so he would be able to eat without needing to be fed, at least. He wasn’t sure his heart could take that right now.

They ate in the same silence they’d found themselves in a lot recently and while it wasn’t uncomfortable, it made it hard to fully relax. Some cooking show was playing on the TV but Jisung was barely watching it. He didn’t even dare to glance at Hyunjin that often, too worried that if he looked, the other would catch him and press him about what he’d said earlier.

He honestly hadn’t meant to admit that he had been watching Hyunjin, but it had slipped out automatically in defence.

When their bellies were full and he no longer had the distraction of eating, Jisung turned and climbed onto the sofa, grabbing one of the mismatching pillows to hug to his chest. After a moment of fiddling with the remote, Hyunjin put on a drama that had started airing the week previous and followed suit, sliding easily into the spot near Jisung.

There was a respectable distance between them, but if either of them shuffled around too much, Jisung would sure their knees or shoulders would knock. It was rather easily to get absorbed in the show, a needed distraction for his busy mind. It was about half an hour later when his attention was drawn back to his hand, which had begun to sting all over again. Pushing to his feet, he wandered into the kitchen, rummaging around in drawers until he found the small red box that held their first-aid stuff.

It was kind of difficult to open the box one-handed but he managed, sighing in relief when he saw the little burn cream sachets, as well as a roll of gauze to keep dirt away from the burn.

Not wanting to miss too much of the show, Jisung bundled the things he needed into his good arm and headed back for the sofa, eyes accidentally meeting Hyunjin’s as he entered. He saw the boy’s eyes flit down to the stuff in his arms, a small frown forming on his face, eyebrows creasing.

While Jisung managed to tear the sachets open with his teeth, rubbing the cream into his palm with his good hand, he just couldn’t manage the gauze without help. Debating his options for a moment, he knew he’d regret not just asking for help if the burn got infected or whatever. “Hey dickhead, wrap my hand for me” Extending the roll towards Hyunjin, he kept his left palm facing up, now propped atop the cushion he’d been cuddling earlier.

“Didn’t your mother teach you manners?”

“That’s rich coming from you”

“Do you want to do it yourself?”

“Ugh… fine, _please_ wrap my hand for me” The smirk Jisung had become all too familiar with reappeared and he let his eyes linger for a moment longer as Hyunjin turned his attention to wrapping Jisung’s hand. His touch was gentler than Jisung was used to from him, but he couldn’t help the slight flinch as the material wrapped around his sore hand.

His fingers twitched, as if itching to hold Hyunjin’s hand as he tied a little knot on the top side of his hand. Flushing, Jisung almost wrenched his hand out of the other’s reach the second he was done, bringing the pillow further into his chest to bury the bottom half of his face into.

He swore he heard Hyunjin whisper something that sounded an awful lot like ‘ _weirdo_ ’, but Jisung couldn’t bring himself to look at him again that night. Too fearful of what Hyunjin might find in his eyes.


	6. Drunk Minds, Drunker Actions

“We need some toiletries, also we ate all of the meat…” Jisung listed off as he browsed what was left in their fridge. It was a little after 4:30 and the rest of the boys were due back around 5, giving the pair just enough time to restock on whatever they needed. Things hadn’t been too bad that morning and Jisung had gotten away without further incident.

“Chan Hyung wants us to get drinks, they’re bringing food back with them I think” Hyunjin added, tapping away at his phone from his position sat on the kitchen counter.

“We’ve got 6 cans in the fridge – I think there’s an open bottle of vodka somewhere here too” Shutting the fridge, Jisung nodded towards the door as a signal for them to head out. He grabbed his wallet and keys, stuffing them into the back pockets on his jeans (so what if he’d known he looked good in those particular jeans?), following Hyunjin out and locking the door behind them.

The nearest supermarket that they could afford was a good 15-minute walk away, but it normally worked out OK when they had extra hands to help. Jisung wasn’t sure how the two of them would manage, especially with however much alcohol they decided to buy.

For once, Jisung made an effort to make small talk with Hyunjin as they walked, not fancying doing the whole trip in silence. It was as they rounded the corner onto the block where the store was that Hyunjin brought up his burn. “How’s the hand? Still can’t believe you blame that on me” Sharp eyes side-eyed him and Jisung scratched awkwardly at the back of his neck with his good hand.

“Better, much better actually – think I got to it quick enough” Turning the mentioned palm up, the skin was still a little irritated but barely hurt unless he put a lot of pressure on it. He pointedly ignored the leading statement about blaming Hyunjin, not exactly wanting to remember his blunder in admitting just why he hadn’t paid more attention to the pan.

“You mean _I_ got to it quick enough” Hyunjin sniggered, paused to sigh in relief as they stepped through the automatic sliding doors; a chill blast from the air-con helping to kill the heat lingering in the air.

“Whatever asshole” Jisung pushed past him to grab a shopping cart, resting his forearms on top of it to lazily browse the isles. He’d just about gotten over how weird it was that he and Hyunjin were… _friends_ now, well, at least he assumed as much. They tolerated each other far more than they ever had and that had to count for something. But he’d definitely not gotten used to the newer feelings that had risen alongside their budding friendship.

They meandered around the shop, occasionally tossing things into the cart that they though they needed (yes, they definitely needed 3 packs of onion snack and 4 packs of chocolate biscuits) before eventually coming upon the alcohol section. They’d both only been able to buy and drink alcohol for a year or so and it still felt a bit naughty to browse. Immediately, Hyunjin had loaded several crates of their Hyung’s favourite beer into the end of the cart, a few bottles of soju following quickly enough.

Jisung’s eyes perused over the harder liquor until he noticed bottles of tequila were on sale. He didn’t think he’d ever had tequila, although he’d heard horror stories from Chan about how he got so drunk off tequila on holiday, he was once sick all over a public bin. Slinking over, he stretched to reach for one of the bigger bottles, but his fingers only just brushed the base of the bottle (clearly on a higher shelf to deter people from stealing). He struggled for a moment before a warmth covered his back and a hand reached past his to pick up the bottle.

“Tequila? That’s brave” Hyunjin turned the bottle to read the label, barely backing off enough for Jisung to turn around with a flushed face.

Nonetheless, the bottle went in the cart with everything else and Jisung returned to his position behind the cart with a pout. Goddamn Hyunjin and his extra few inches.

Needless to say, they were both IDed by the elderly woman on checkout, who didn’t seem to believe their ages even after having been given proof. She did several takes between their little cards and their faces before huffing something about ‘the youth of today’, beginning to scan their stuff at a snail’s pace. They shared an exasperated look, packing things into bags as quickly as they could. After a quick bicker over who was paying, Hyunjin ended up covering it and Jisung was a little thankful when he heard how much they’d spent.

It wasn’t until they were making to leave, did they realise the problem they had. “You seriously forgot to mention you can’t carry anything with your left hand?”

“Well… I just didn’t think, OK? Listen I’ll get us a taxi or something” Fishing his phone out of his back pocket, he tapped away until his booking was confirmed, an estimated 5-minute wait. Hyunjin in the meantime had bundled all their bags closer to the shop wall, slumping against it with a big sigh. “Maybe we bought a bit much” Jisung looked over the mound of bags, wondering just how they’d managed to pile that much stuff into one cart.

“They’d whinge if we didn’t get enough, it’s fine” Hyunjin wasn’t wrong, Jisung could imagine Changbin and Seungmin arguing over who got the last bag of snacks (it had hadn’t far too often).

Hearing a car pull up behind him, Jisung whipped back around to the road, crouching down next to the taxi to confirm it was theirs before asking for the trunk to be opened. Between the three of them, the car was loaded pretty quickly and he slid into the backslide alongside Hyunjin as the driver confirmed their address.

The 15-minute walk took just over 5 in the car, luckily they’d missed most of the traffic and before they knew it, they were unloading bag and bag onto the pavement.

“Get the front door” Knowing that he was probably more of a hinderance than a help with the bags, Jisung didn’t argue and went to unlock their door, propping it open with a rogue shoe before moving back to their shopping. Together, they actually made pretty quick of the shopping. It was just as Hyunjin shut the fridge door that they heard the commotion outside. A smile broke out on Jisung’s face and he quickly shuffled into the hallway just as the front door swung open, Minho nearly falling flat on his face as the other 5 also tried to get through the door. 

Just like that, the house was alive again and it was like the little bubble that him and Hyunjin had been living in was popped.

“Hey Sungie” It was Felix that greeted him first, smile wide and face slightly tanner than when he’d left, arms wrapping around him easily. He stepped out of the way as bags were thrown left, right and centre, bodies piling into the house with such a ruckus that Jisung was glad that they had nice neighbours or a noise complaint would surely be coming their way.

Jeongin excitedly began telling Hyunjin about their little holiday at the beach and how they thought Felix had stepped on an urchin but it was actually just sharp coral and every other thing he could think about. It was cute and it made Jisung feel fuzzy inside as he watched. Before he noticed him coming, Changbin had him in a headlock and the two tousled on the living room floor, the older easily overpowering Jisung until he was sat on top of him.

“Yah, get off me! You’re heavy” Jisung whined, pushing vainly at Changbin.

“Oi, you calling me fat?” It had once been a touchy subject for his Hyung, even though he knew he was currently joking. But Jisung still made a show of hugging him until he could roll them over, cheering exaggeratedly before taking off into the kitchen after Chan. The eldest smiled at him, genuine and warm and he extended his arms, Jisung falling into them easily.

Somehow, they were the only two in the kitchen and Chan didn’t wait to question him. “So, how are things?” It was a seemingly harmless question, but Jisung knew exactly what he was referring to.

“Good? Maybe? I don’t know, we haven’t really fought so…” Chan looked elated at the news, grin creeping onto his face. Jisung felt like his Hyung was seeing right through him, or maybe he was just letting his head get the better of him again. There was no way that the other boys could know of his change of heart, not unless he let slip.

“See! I knew you two could get along” A hand was clapped onto his shoulder and Jisung smiled back, head ducking in embarrassment. “Now let’s get pissed!”

~~

The world was swaying lightly, but Jisung welcomed the feeling.

They’d bundled blankets and pillows out into the yard, creating a little cozy space for them all to spend some much-needed time all together again. Jisung found himself sat wedged between Minho and Felix and opposite Hyunjin. The boys had grilled them a little when the drinks had started flowing and Jisung had laughed them off easily enough, not wanting to put Hyunjin in a position where he would resort back to bickering.

Everyone just seemed to be pleased that they were getting along, no more was really thought of it.

But the more Jisung drank, the more he found his eyes drifting to the taller, settling on big hands and plush lips more often than not. Chan had cackled when he had spotted the tequila, insisting that they all experience being tequila drunk at least once – and so they’d each taken a shot, complete with salt and limes. The reactions were instantaneous, faces were pulled and gags were heard, but nonetheless, they found themselves reaching for the bottle a few times over.

Jisung definitely wasn’t the only one feeling the effects of the booze. Seungmin wasn’t anywhere near as careful in his affection for Minho, leaning heavily into his side, who in turn was half-leaning on Jisung. Jeongin had a glazed expression in his eyes, but the smile had never left his face, braces on full show. Felix was wrapped around Changbin (not actually that unusual), but he slipped back into English almost as if he hadn’t realised he was doing it and Changbin and Chan were having an impromptu rap battle about anything and everything they could see. That just left Hyunjin.

Hyunjin’s hair was down and Jisung caught him running his hand through the blonde locks every now and again, neck extended each time. The only sign that he was also definitely drunk was the gleam in his eyes and how his voice got louder with excitement whenever someone said something he found funny.

Jisung also couldn’t deny that he’d caught Hyunjin watching him too, as much as he would normally deny it or put it down to some excuse, there was no mistaking the way his eyes lingered.

He had no idea what that was supposed to mean and he wasn’t sure whether being drunk was helping or hindering his decision making. For the first time since knowing him, Jisung physically felt the distance between them. He had been so used to avoiding each other or deliberately sitting at different ends of the table or making separate plans. But they’d spent so much one-on-one time with each other over the last three days that Jisung almost missed him.

Scoffing to himself, he realised how dumb that sounded. They were literally a metre or two apart and he missed him.

The thought kind of shook him and he realised just how drunk he must have been. Pushing onto unsteady feet, he reassured the boys that he just needed a piss and stumbled his way inside, somehow making it to the bathroom without bumping into anything on the way. Leaning over the sink, Jisung clumsily splashed cold water on his face, eyeing himself in the mirror.

Moving to dry his hands off on the little towel, he spun to head back out, feeling marginally more grounded. But instead of an empty doorway, he bumped straight into Hyunjin’s chest.

Jisung noticed that the taller’s eyes were as glassy as his own, that irritating(ly handsome) smirk ever-present on his face. “Miss me already?” He quipped, trying not to sway on his feet as he had to tilt his head back to make eye contact.

“You wish… I need to piss” Hyunjin made no move however, to get out of his way, body still blocking the doorway. Jisung raised an eyebrow, not backing down either. He hadn’t realised that the space between them was slowly disappearing until he stumbled forward, chest bumping gently against Hyunjin’s. He felt the breath on his own lips more than he saw the tilt of the taller’s head. Jisung’s eyes fluttered automatically, tongue dipping out to wet his lips – it seemed to trigger Hyunjin into action and before Jisung could process, the lips he’d dreamt about finally pressed against his own. 

_Well shit._


	7. Caught Red Faced and Red Handed

Jisung’s brain had barely caught on to what was happening, but his body was moving with a mind of its own, lips pushing back almost desperately against Hyunjin’s.

Hyunjin tasted like cherry vodka and it made his head spin even more than it already was. It was easy enough to let the taller back him into the small bathroom, hips bumping into the sink behind him. Hands grappled over clothing until Jisung’s were buried in long blonde hair and Hyunjin’s were slipping under a loose shirt.

Maybe they should have talked about it before falling into each other’s arms, but for once Jisung just couldn’t bring himself to care. Ever since Chan had planted the idea in his head, especially knowing that more than one of them had assumed it would end up this way, it was impossible not to let it consume him. The spark that was normally in their fights now had a different channel and Jisung could feel it in his veins.

As much as he sounded like a love-sick school girl, no one he had kissed before had made him feel like this.

Teeth sank not-so-gently into his bottom lip, dragging a ragged gasp from him, which was evidently what Hyunjin wanted as a tongue slid over the bite immediately after. Not one to be outdone so easily, Jisung sucked on Hyunjin’s tongue, hands balling to tug at his hair until a groan sounded against his lips.

Just as a knee was pushed between his legs, dragging dangerously close to where his pants were starting to tighten, a choked gasp broke the moment like a stone through glass. Heads whipping around, two sets of eyes landed on Changbin, who was rubbing at his eyes as if he were seeing things, mouth repeatedly opening and closing with nothing coming out.

“What the fuck? _What the fuck?!_ ” Jisung wasn’t sure whether it was a curse or a blessing that his Hyung was also as drunk as they were, as any overt awkwardness was crushed by the chortle Changbin made, almost toppling over from how hard he was laughing. “Oh my fucking God… yo-you” An unsteady finger was pointed in their direction, before Changbin took off in an unsteady run back towards where the rest of the house were gathered.

Jisung had a split second to make a decision before the rest of them would know and no doubt barrel their way in the direction of the bathroom for a look. Hyunjin looked mildly lost for a moment, but when their gazes met again he could see the way sharp eyes flitted to his own lips, probably a little swollen already and it sent a surge of confidence through him. 

When he didn’t see any regret, Jisung grabbed Hyunjin’s wrist in his hand pulling him out of the bathroom and to the stairs just as he heard the commotion erupt from their yard.

Hyunjin seemed to catch on to where they were going, smirk turning almost predatory as they staggered up the stairs, bumping into walls along the way until the taller directed Jisung into his own room instead of Jisung’s. He didn’t really have time to take in the room before lips were on his again, backing him up until the back of his knees hit the bed. With a firm push, Jisung found himself on his back with Hyunjin crawling over him. A clumsy mess of kisses and shuffling moved them up the bed, Jisung’s head falling onto navy pillows.

He vaguely noted that the room smelled like Hyunjin and as kisses were placed from his lips to his jaw, he let his eyes flutter shut, overwhelmed by everything Hyunjin.

Lips moved to his neck, which had always been on the more sensitive side, sucking the skin between teeth. Baring his neck, Jisung couldn’t help the kick of his hips, feeling the delicious drag as Hyunjin ground down in response. He wasn’t sure where this was going, nor could he bring himself to care in his current state. But he did nothing to stop Hyunjin’s hands from slipping under his shirt once again, this time bunching the material up until they were forced to separate to pull it over his head as best they could.

Frantic hands pulled Hyunjin’s shirt off too, moving to roam over a surprisingly strong back (Jisung hadn’t realised just how muscular the taller had become) as Hyunjin descended towards his chest with that smirk he hated to love.

A tongue he was so used to hurting him, instead circled a pert nipple, the other pinched between thin fingers. Maybe if Jisung had been sober, he’d have been more conscious of the noises that were escaping him at increasing volume, but as it was, he could do nothing to stop the whines that fell from his lips. If anything, the noises seemed to spur Hyunjin on, his movements becoming rougher and less calculated, teeth nibbling gently at the sensitive bud until Jisung’s back arched off the bed. “So sensitive” His voice was a kind of husky Jisung wasn’t used to and it did nothing to stop the world spinning around him, hands grappling at broad shoulders.

“Sh-shut up, asshole” There was no bite to the words, especially given they came out as a moan when Hyunjin’s spare hand suddenly appeared at the waistline of his sweatpants, toying with the strings. A lift of hips was all the sign Hyunjin needed and Jisung sighed (both in relief and impatience) when his nipples were released so the taller could sit back enough to strip Jisung of both his sweats and boxers in one fell swoop.

Not expecting to be the only one so naked so soon, Jisung’s legs automatically made to close but hands landed on his thighs before he could more than twitch, eyes staring at the curve of his erection with a hungry look.

The look was turned back to his face and Hyunjin crawled over him much like a lion who’d caught his prey, lips crashing back together hard enough that Jisung knew they’d still be swollen the next day. 

Taking this as his opportunity, Jisung pawed at the other’s sweats, a silent plea for them to be removed too. Somehow, Hyunjin managed to kick them off without breaking their kiss, tongue pushing into Jisung’s mouth to run along the back of his teeth.

He didn’t get a chance to see the taller before he felt him, hips colliding in a frenzy. There was little to no finesse in their movements, too tipsy and too charged to slow down. Their kiss became more of a resting of lips, panting into each other’s mouths than an actual kiss, as Hyunjin slipped a hand between them, fist closing as best he could around the both of them.

Jisung groaned, legs spreading and bending to plant his feet on the bed, giving him more leverage to push up into the taller’s grasp.

Blinking his eyes open, he took in what little of Hyunjin he could see. His eyes were still shut and Jisung was greedy in his stare; Hyunjin looked like sin, lips bruised, hair mussed with a slight sheen of sweat coating his skin. The realisation of what was happening hit him like a truck as did his orgasm, body tensing and quivering beneath Hyunjin as his hands clawed at his back. 

He was loud; there was no way the others hadn’t heard him but it knocked the breath right out of him, even more so when Hyunjin followed suit, arms tensing and hips kicking forward a few more times before he collapsed atop Jisung.

The room was silent other than their panting and they lay there for a minute or so, heads coming back to them slowly. Cringing at the cooling wetness sandwiched between their stomachs, Hyunjin pushed back on shaky arms, running the hand that wasn’t covered in come through his hair in a vain attempt to smooth it out.

Jisung belatedly mused that this was the first time he’d gotten a proper look at Hyunjin’s dick, though he was definitely soft by now there was no doubting that Hyunjin had him beat on length. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to feel self-conscious laid bare in front of someone who had been his ‘enemy’, but his limbs felt like lead and he was quite content to watch the taller move to clean their mess up.

Not bothering to pull any clothes on, Hyunjin dragged the duvet out from under a whinging Jisung, before climbing almost awkwardly into the bed next to him.

Maybe this was Hyunjin’s way of asking him to stay, or at least letting him know he was alright with it at the very least and who was Jisung to reject such generosity (he wasn’t even sure if his legs could carry him anyway). The alcohol was still very much in their systems and perhaps it helped to ease their tensions as Jisung sidled closer to cuddle in.

Talking could wait.

~~

When Jisung woke up, it wasn’t in his own bed.

Rubbing at his eyes, he yawned, stretching until his back cracked. It was only when his eyes opened, mind still groggy with the remnants of a hangover that he noticed he wasn’t alone. Whipping his head around, he noticed several things all at once – Hyunjin was sprawled on the other half of the bed, lying on his stomach with his head turned away from Jisung and that they were in Hyunjin’s bed.

The memories of the previous night came flooding back until his dick twitched with interest, particularly when he noticed the marks he’d left on Hyunjin’s body. He was sure he had his own bruises to match. It was then that he took the chance to take in the room that he’d seen so little of. The walls were the same sad shade of slightly off-white that they all had; furniture mirroring his own too. But where his room had pops of colour, Hyunjin’s was dark and moody. His bedsheets were navy, which matched an old rug Jisung didn’t think he’d ever seen before.

It was also a lot neater than his own space; he’d never been one for cleaning unless absolutely necessary, always finding something better to do with his time. But it made him glad Hyunjin had steered him into here instead, knowing he should probably make more of an effort to clean if this was going to keep happening.

_This_ … what even was _this?_

He didn’t even know where Hyunjin’s head was at. Would he wake up and regret crossing that final boundary? Even if he didn’t regret doing it, would he want to do it again? Jisung’s mind was racing and he couldn’t seem to slow it down, anxiety growing in the pit of his already churning stomach until he couldn’t stay any longer. It was a cowardly thing to do, he knew, but the last thing he wanted was for Hyunjin to wake up and for their day to start off with an uncomfortable atmosphere that might send them back to square one.

So he left.

Grimacing as he stood, his body swayed with his hangover and he almost fell straight back onto the bed. A glance down reminded him that he was in desperate need of a shower – a long one.

With one last look at Hyunjin, who hadn’t stirred at all, Jisung silent slipped out of the door, endlessly thankful that no one else was up and about so early. Looking at himself in the bathroom mirror as he waited for the shower to heat up, Jisung took in the hickeys on his neck and chest. He couldn’t stop the way his fingers automatically moved to press on the bruise, swallowing at the memory of how Hyunjin had looked above him.

Honestly, as much as he now knew there was no avoiding his attraction to the taller, he was more confused than ever.

His shower must have been longer than he’d thought, when a loud knock shocked him enough that he dropped the shower gel right onto his foot. “ _Shit_ – hang on!” Quickly rinsing the rest of the suds off, Jisung knocked the shower off and wrapped a towel around his waist, holding it together with his fist as he opened the door. He definitely didn’t expect to see Hyunjin stood on the other side of the door, looking tired but also a little angry and maybe even a little insecure (it was a look that he masked quite well, but Jisung knew his expressions like the back of his hand).

Hyunjin looked at him like he both wanted to kiss him and hit him and Jisung yelped when he was shoved backwards into the bathroom, door shutting and locking behind Hyunjin.

“We need to talk”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry about the slow update, I lost someone very close to me recently and I've been taking some time to heal. A gentle reminder to stay safe and stay happy 💕
> 
> On a brighter note - if you haven't already, go listen the Blackpink's 'The Album', it's a masterpiece


	8. Tentative Beginnings

“We need to talk”

Jisung could only nod, hand gripping the towel tighter – even though it was nothing Hyunjin hadn’t seen, it definitely didn’t feel like the time to get naked. Hyunjin shut the lid of the toilet and sat, knee bouncing in a tell-tale sign of the anxiety Jisung was also feeling. Turning away slightly, he secured the towel better, before grabbing a second smaller one to dry off his hair which was now dripping cold water over his torso.

“Were you going to come back?” The question caught Jisung totally off guard and he gaped, looking down guiltily. He probably wasn’t going to, in reality, he would have just returned to his own bed and he knew that Hyunjin knew that too. “I thought not” Hyunjin scoffed and it sounded almost self-deprecating and it hurt to hear.

“I didn’t – it wasn’t…” He trailed off, thoughts far too jumbled in his own mind to come out clear enough to reassure the taller, if that’s even what he was after.

“What is this, Jisung? What are we?” Hyunjin sounded harsh, but Jisung knew it was more in self-defence than anything else – it lacked the bite their words use to have when their insults had meaning. Letting out a shaky sigh, Jisung shuffled forwards until he could knock his own knee against Hyunjin’s bouncing one.

“I don’t know” It was barely a whisper, but it was the truth, as was his next statement. “But I know that things have changed between us, I know that I like you” It clearly wasn’t the answer Hyunjin had been expecting, if the startled expression on his face was anything to go by. But when their eyes met, Jisung saw sincerity mirrored in the taller’s own gaze.

“I like you too… it’s _weird_ ” They chuckled, some of the tension around them evaporating. It was weird, in a way, to think that not that long ago things had been so different between them. “What happens now?”

Jisung shrugged; honestly, he had no clue how to move things along with Hyunjin without it just leading to them jumping into bed. As much as there was clearly a sexual attraction, he didn’t want to fuck things up by getting caught up in that and then realising that there was nothing more than lust between them. “You should shower, you stink” He sniggered, jumping away from the hand that flew out to hit him. “And then we can go back to bed?” The hesitancy was back and it was something Jisung was just going to have to get used to.

“Like _together_?” Hyunjin eyed him, clearly still a little sensitive about waking up alone. Jisung nodded, smile tugging at his lips when Hyunjin huffed out a confirmation, pushing Jisung towards the door.

Ducking into his own room, Jisung made quick work of finishing drying off (he knew Hyunjin would get pissy if he got his sheets wet). Debating what to wear, he knew that going back in naked wasn’t really a sensible option but getting fully dressed just felt like it drew too much attention to the fact he’d made an effort not to be naked. Groaning, Jisung slapped lightly at his own cheeks. He needed to get his shit together if this was going to work.

Deciding that boxers and a t-shirt was enough, he wandered back out and straight over into Hyunjin’s, leaving the door propped slightly open behind him.

Climbing into Hyunjin’s bed still felt a little surreal, not something he ever in a million years thought he’d be able to do, or even want to, for that matter. Snuggling back into the same side of the bed he’d slept on the previous night, Jisung’s eyes kept flitting back to the door until he heard the sound of the shower shut off through the wall, hiding his smile behind the duvet.

When the taller walked through the door, towel wrapped loosely around his waist, with another draped over his shoulders, Jisung couldn’t help but stare. He didn’t know if he’d ever get used to seeing Hyunjin like this, but the butterflies were a nice change and a feeling that only helped confirm that they were doing the right thing. He openly watched as Hyunjin turned towards his drawers, dropping the towel easily to pull on some boxers, giving Jisung a view he wished he could look at forever. Feeling a little pleased when no shirt followed, he rolled over onto his side to face Hyunjin as he slid back into bed.

The sound of early morning traffic drifted in even through closed windows, but it made the mood feel so domestic that Jisung broke eye contact shyly, staring at Hyunjin’s shoulder instead.

He saw the smug smile out of the corner of his eyes and he huffed, making a show of rolling over so his back was to the other. It still shocked him when a lean arm slid over his waist, pulling him back until he could feel Hyunjin’s chest pressed against his back through the thin material of his shirt. “You’re so huffy” Hyunjin was just teasing him; he could even feel the curve of his smile pressed against the underside of his jaw. Pouting, Jisung turned his head enough that he could look at Hyunjin’s tired eyes, his own falling shut easily when a soft kiss was placed on his lips.

There was no intent behind the kiss, just a chaste reminder that they were in this together, whatever this was. “’M sleepy” He murmured; voice quiet to not disturb the mood. Hyunjin simply hummed in response, stealing one more kiss before settling behind him, arm still wrapping around him loosely and Jisung took the chance to link their fingers together.

It was easy to fall asleep with how cosy everything felt and for once, it felt like the weight of the Jisung-Hyunjin situation that had been going on for so long was finally lifting off his shoulders.

~~

Waking up for the second time was a whole different situation.

His hangover was still pulling at the edges of his mind, but he’d clearly slept well, given the exhaustion was almost all gone and he felt quite content still wrapped up in Hyunjin’s arms. He could vaguely hear movement downstairs and he knew that they should probably surface sooner or later and face the music that was no doubt waiting for them – assuming the others weren’t too drunk to remember.

As he sat up he stretching, body cracking in places he didn’t even know could crack and the movement clearly stirred Hyunjin who grumbled something and tried to pull him back down to sleep some more. “Yah! We need to get up, I’m hungry” Rolling atop where Hyunjin was now splayed out on his back, eyes still closed, Jisung made a point of nipping at his bottom lip, pulling just out of reach each time the taller moved to kiss him. “Kisses after you cook me breakfast” An eyebrow was raised as a single eye opened, hands moving to rest comfortably on Jisung’s hips.

“The last time I made you breakfast, you punched me in the face” Jisung had the decency to look a little sheepish, retracting his earlier statement immediately to smush Hyunjin’s face between his hands, placing several quick kisses on his forced pout. Hyunjin simply laughed, leaning up until he was sat up with Jisung in his lap. “What happened to no kisses before breakfast?”

“I promise not to punch you this time, please make me breakfast” While Jisung sometimes showed his aegyo to the younger boys, he’d never directed it at the taller before and judging by the snigger he got in response, it worked enough to get Hyunjin out of bed with him. “I should go put some pants on, see you downstairs?”

“Leaving me to face the boys alone? _Sneaky_ ” He was pushed gently towards the door after being handed the pile of clothes he’d left the night before, walking backwards until he was nearly out of the door.

“ _Me_? I would _never_ ” Spinning to move back into his own room, Jisung couldn’t help but feel a burst of nervous but happy energy. Part of him was convinced this whole thing was just a very vivid dream and he’d wake up alone in his own bed, still at odds with the old Hyunjin he thought he knew so well. But the other half of him was just greedy to take whatever he could and if that meant a few minutes (or days) of teasing from the other 6 in the house then he’d just have to take it.

Pulling on some pants, he dumped his dirty clothes into his laundry basket and quickly put a brush through his hair, which had gone a bit wild being left to dry.

Hyunjin must have gotten dressed at lightning speed, because Jisung heard his door open and close from opposite his own as he was brushing his hair. The selfish part of him was a little relieved that he wouldn’t be the first one down and that he wouldn’t be walking into a storm alone. Taking a moment to listen, he heard the whistles and muffled comments even from a few floors up.

Jisung took a deep breath, readying himself to face the same as he started down the stairs. The first thing he saw was Hyunjin on the bottom of a human pile, with Changbin, Jeongin and Seungmin lay atop him on the living room floor. Felix was stood by giggling, phone out to take pictures of the unfortunate situation Hyunjin had gotten himself in. They seemed too occupied in the taller to notice him so he quietly moved into the kitchen, where the oldest two were making a huge pile of pancakes and bacon.

Minho spotted him first, mouth curving into a knowing smirk, eyes flitting down to Jisung’s neck where he knew the biggest of the hickies was. “Well well well… look what the cat dragged in, fun night?” Chan spun around, looking as tired as ever, but the smile he shot him was genuine, if a little teasing. Jisung huffed, punching Minho’s shoulder as he lifted himself up onto one of the counters. 

“Shut up Hyung” He watched as the two shared a glance, clearly about him. “What?” The two sets of eyes turned to him instead.

“I mean, I hate to say I told you so” Chan shrugged, flipping the pancake currently cooking away in the pan. Minho chortled, making kissy faces at Jisung as he left the kitchen (probably to give them time to talk).

“This is all your fault! You planted ideas in my head” Jisung whined, although it was all good natured, he certainly didn’t regret the positive change – but at the same time, it probably wouldn’t have happened this way without his Hyungs prompting. Chan just laughed lightly, plating up the last of the pancakes before urging Jisung off the counter.

“Sorry if I confused you, that wasn’t my intention, but at least things are good – they _are_ good, right?” Typical Chan, checking up on him to the maximum extent. He knew the elder would never forgive himself if he’d caused a bigger rift by saying something he shouldn’t have.

“Yeah Hyung, they’re good” They shared a small smile, shoulders bumping gently as Jisung helped him carry the plates and condiments to the dining table. All it took was one shout that breakfast was ready for the rest of the boys to gather around the table. As it was before, Jisung and Hyunjin would normally sit as far away as they could from each other, but Jisung felt a warmth grow in the pit of his stomach when Hyunjin easily slid into the chair next to him, knee knocking deliberately against his under the table.

“Damn, Hyunjin were you hungry last night?” Changbin teased from opposite Jisung and he couldn’t help but raise a hand to cover the mark that everyone seemed to be taking interest in – maybe he should have worn a more covering shirt.

“Oh can it Hyung, I’ve heard all the things you and Felix get up to late at night” That was true, both Jisung and Hyunjin had heard the two having sex on more than one occasion; an unfortunate side effect of sharing floors. Felix turned a bright shade of red, head tucking into Changbin’s shoulder with an embarrassed whine.

Conversations moved away from them, naturally turning towards food. It seemed they all had hangovers and were craving something sweet and stodgy and Jisung was more than a little glad for the slight relief. He ate his fair share, nearly choking on a bite when at one point, Hyunjin’s hand landed on his thigh, teasing at the edge of his shorts almost as if he hadn’t realised he was doing it given he didn’t even spare Jisung a glance.

“So are you two like dating now or what?” Ever the blunt one, Minho asked the question that was probably on all of their minds. “ _Ow_ – what the fuck?!” He jerked and shot Seungmin a dirty look from his place opposite him, clearly the younger had kicked him under the table.

“You can’t just ask people that Hyung, they’ll tell us when they’re ready” Jisung made a mental note to buy Seungmin something nice, he always had his back even if it wasn’t as overt as Chan or Felix, it was appreciated.

Jisung glanced at Hyunjin to find him already looking at him; they hadn’t exactly talked about that yet, the whole situation was very new and he was scared putting a label on it too soon would only hurt their relationship. “We’re figuring it out” Surprisingly it was Hyunjin who answered and Jisung blinked owlishly at him, moving his own hand to grasp the one resting on his leg.

“That’s good… good” Chan looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there right now and Jisung couldn’t blame him, it was always a bit awkward for him when they bickered as their Hyung. “Right, boys help tidy up, we cooked so you can do the dishes” It was directed more at the other half of the table than to the end Hyunjin and Jisung were sat at. Maybe he did feel genuinely bad about the whole situation, even though it was a bit silly really. The customary complaints immediately filled the awkward silence, but chairs were pushed back and the table was cleared nonetheless.

Hyunjin took the moment to pull Jisung out into the corner of the now empty dining room, placing a lingering but gentle kiss on his lips.

Melting against him, Jisung wound his arms around the other’s waist, pouting until Hyunjin kissed him again. “Well, we survived” Jisung snickered, lips pulling back into a bright smile. It wasn’t that he’d expected a bad reaction; they were family after all, but it was still a shock to everyone’s systems and he didn’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable – Hyunjin included.

But for the first time in a long time, he was optimistic about whatever it was they were.


	9. A Sight For Sore Eyes

Things has been going well since the night of the Tequila fuelled incident.

The whole situation still felt a bit odd and more often than not, one of them found their way into the other’s bed on an evening, preferring the company rather than sleeping alone. It was clearly also still weird for the rest of the boys, who hadn’t quite gotten over the sudden shows of PDA – especially when their normally bickering ended in kisses (Minho had affectionately called them disgusting on several occasions).

Jisung just found it hard not to touch whenever Hyunjin was in arm’s length and it seemed the feelings were mutual; it wasn’t his fault Hyunjin looked so _good_.

One day, Hyunjin had gone to the gym with their Hyungs and had come back without showering (not that Jisung was complaining). He was in a sleeveless vest, biceps still pumped up from their work out and hair slightly slicked back from where it was loosely pushed back by a sweatband into a bun atop his head. The second he’d walked through the front door, Jisung eyes were glued to him, mouth watering at the sight.

Hyunjin had caught him staring pretty quick and he pointedly nodded his head up the stairs before starting off up them and hell, that was an invitation Jisung was not going to turn down.

Jeongin had whined that he was abandoning their game of Smash Bros for a hook-up but Jisung responded that he was simply too young and innocent to understand. _As if_ he was going to miss out on joining Hyunjin in the shower for something they played on an almost daily basis. By the time he’d caught up, Hyunjin was already stepping into the shower, back towards Jisung.

The younger had come to realise that Hyunjin’s back was one of his favourite parts of him, broad and increasingly toned with each gym visit.

Stripping so quickly he nearly tripped over the ankle of his sweats, Jisung bundled into the shower stall (which definitely wasn’t meant for two people). Jisung let Hyunjin steal most of the flow of the water, knowing he definitely needed it more than Jisung did – although a sweaty Hyunjin wasn’t something Jisung was going to whinge about. Taking his chance, Jisung lathered up the taller’s back while Hyunjin washed his own hair, massaging at what must have been stiff muscles if the knots were anything to go by.

He let Hyunjin back him into cold tiles, mewling when a sud-covered hand wrapped around his growing erection, twisting and tugging until Jisung’s hips moved in time. Pulling the taller down into a messy kiss, Jisung own hand wrapped around Hyunjin, thumbing at the flushed tip in the way that he’d come to know Hyunjin liked.

They hadn’t fooled around past handjobs and grinding at this point, but Jisung knew that it was probably smart not to rush into things that they might regret. That being said, it was hard not to get impatient.

His free hand reached up to grasp at Hyunjin’s bicep of his arm that was braced on the wall next to Jisung’s head. He wasn’t going to last long and he knew Hyunjin wasn’t either if the tightening grip was anything to go by. It would only be so long before someone else wanted the bathroom anyway and Jisung wasn’t keen on being interrupted. Increasing his efforts, Jisung sank his teeth into Hyunjin’s already plump bottom lip, eyes opening to watch just as Hyunjin felt apart in his hand, following not long after him.

The evidence washed away with the remainder of the suds and Jisung felt Hyunjin sag against him, head falling forward to land on Jisung’s shoulder.

“C’mon, we need to get out, I’m cold” Blindly reaching to turn the shower off, Jisung urged the taller out of the stall first, belatedly realising he hadn’t bothered to grab himself a towel in his hurry. Hyunjin simply rolled his eyes, quickly drying off before offering the towel to Jisung (had it been anyone else, that would have been gross, but as it was, he just took it with a hum of thanks).

“You’re always cold” Hyunjin pulled on a new pair of boxers, before opening the door to head to his room with Jisung following.

“Oi! Why do you think I like to cuddle, you’re always so warm” To prove his point, Jisung sidled up behind where the taller was browsing through his drawers, arms wrapping around a thin waist. He ignored Hyunjin’s whines that he was getting him wet again, reaching onto his tip-toes to plant several open-mouthed kisses along his bare shoulder.

“Have I ever told you you’re needier than Felix?” Jisung pouted, that was so not true – Felix was always constantly cuddled up to someone, Jisung knew how to keep personal space… sometimes.

“Am I not allowed to touch?” His tone turned teasing all too quickly, hands sliding down the front of Hyunjin’s chest until he reached the waistband of his boxers, barely brushing over perked nipples on the way down. He didn’t really have any intent to take it further, simply content to mess with Hyunjin.

“At least buy me dinner first” The comment was joking but it made Jisung pause in thought.

“I could… you know, we’ve not been on a date yet” The topic still felt a little sensitive. While they both knew they liked each other, the talk about exactly where this was going was still yet to happen – if they went on dates, there would be the underlying implication that they were heading towards exclusivity – _boyfriends_. It wasn’t even that Jisung didn’t want that for them, it was more that he was worried about Hyunjin’s perspective, forever terrified that something was going to go wrong.

Hyunjin also paused, t-shirt in his hands as he turned his head to look at Jisung properly, an unreadable expression on his face. “You want to?” Jisung nodded, chewing on his bottom lip. “Sure, where do you want to go? I’m hungry if you want to go now?” Jisung honestly hadn’t expected him to suggest going _now_ , but he wasn’t going to say no.

“Yeah – yeah, just let me get ready. There’s this brunch place that opened up a few months ago?” He really was honestly happy with whatever, but just going to their usual spots didn’t feel like much of a date. He wanted it to be special.

“Sounds good” Hyunjin stole a chaste kiss, placating a lot of Jisung’s nerves with an easy smile. He watched as the taller put the t-shirt he’d been holding back, before Jisung turned to walk back to his own room, still wrapped in the towel they’d shared. It was nice to know that Hyunjin was going to make a little effort with his outfit and Jisung wanted to look for him too.

He felt like a nervous schoolgirl going on his first date, stood in front of his wardrobe blankly. It was so hard to know what he was supposed to wear. He definitely didn’t want to be underdressed but at the same time, being overdressed would just put his nerves on edge even more.

Deciding on his favourite (and rather tight) pair of black jeans and a maroon long-sleeved button up that he tucked into his jeans, he finished off the outfit with the watch his grandma had gifted him for his last birthday and a spray of his favourite cologne. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do now; should he go and wait downstairs (definitely the least appealing option, knowing that several of the others were about) or go and find Hyunjin first?

Shaking his head, Jisung knew the concerns were just his anxiety planting silly ideas in his mind. Lingering by Hyunjin’s door, he waited until the taller was ready; Hyunjin nearly bumping straight into his chest as he left his room.

“Ready?” Hyunjin appeared to be calmer than him, as usual and it was easy to let him slide his hand into Jisung’s to lead him down the stairs to where their shoes were haphazardly stacked on a rack. They made it out the house with only a few questions and comments from their friends. It was obvious in the air that summer was coming to an end; honestly, Jisung loved the heat of summer but he knew that Hyunjin preferred cooler temperatures like these. It was moments like this that Jisung realised how much he’d come to learn about the other in such a short period of time, he let out a breathy chuckle, drawing Hyunjin’s attention.

“What are you laughing about?” Their shoulders bumped as they walked, hands still clasped together between them.

“Just - who would’ve thought we’d be here now, you know” Hyunjin grinned at him, tugging him a bit closer to steal a kiss as they waited to cross the road. Jisung smiled into the kiss, he loved when Hyunjin indulged him in PDA, given the taller boy used to be so against it.

The crossing beeped at them and they crossed, weaving around the wave of people out and about on their lunch breaks. The brunch place was cute and small, barely seating 20 people and Jisung was relieved to find they’d arrived just in time for a two-person table to become available. It was tucked in the corner of the restaurant, another thing that loosened Jisung’s nerves as they sat. Although the space was quaint, the décor was littered with plants and dividers and it felt like they hand their own little piece of paradise.

“This place is cute” Hyunjin mused, phone out to take some pictures (no doubt for his Instagram), even sneaking a few of Jisung when he thought he wasn’t looking.

“You’re cute” Jisung didn’t think he’d ever get over the flustered look that Hyunjin tried to hide behind faux exasperation every time he made a cheesy comment. Shooting the taller his greasiest smirk, Jisung hooked his ankles around one of Hyunjin’s to create some form of contact that he'd come to need, before turning his attention to the menu.

It didn’t take long for a waiter to come take their order. Jisung had always had more of a sweet tooth than Hyunjin and so he wasn’t surprised when Hyunjin chose eggs benedict over his own banana Nutella waffle. Hyunjin rested his arms on the table and Jisung took the opportunity to play with his hands, idly spinning on of the rings that the elder had worn for their date.

The look in Hyunjin’s eyes could only be described as fond and it did something funny to Jisung’s insides. He almost gave in to the urge to lean over the table and kiss him, but just as he twitched to move, like fate, their food arrived and he fought a pout but thanked the waiter. It smelled and looked incredible and it was enough to placate his need to get closer for now.

Reluctantly letting go of Hyunjin’s hand, Jisung cut a bit of his waffle to offer it to the other, who eyed it suspiciously but still leaned over for Jisung to feed him. He pulled a face that had Jisung giggling, moving to take a swig of his americano to wash away the taste. Rolling his eyes, Jisung turned down the bite Hyunjin offered him with a smile, instead digging in to his own food with a delighted moan that had Hyunjin’s eyes on him in an instant.

Jisung just winked, waggling his eyebrows exaggeratedly. They fell into easy conversation about this and that; anything that came to mind. It wasn’t like they had anything new to talk about necessarily since they lived together and spent almost all their time together – but Jisung was always pleased to learn a little more about Hyunjin, from his habits and quirks to his likes and dislikes. They were things he would have known had they been friends earlier on, but there was no point dwelling on their past when their future looked so bright.

By the time they’d finished their food, there was a queue out the door and Hyunjin suggested they head back to free up the table.

Then came the debate of who was paying. “Let me pay, I’m older” Hyunjin dragged the bill towards himself, digging around for his wallet.

“ _I_ asked _you_ on the date, so _I_ should pay – you can pay next time!” Dragging the bill back towards himself, he batted at Hyunjin’s hand while fishing for his own wallet. “And don’t bother suggesting we split it, let me treat you” He whined, pulling out the pout and wide-eyed look that normally got him what he wanted, until Hyunjin rolled his eyes and sighed, reluctantly putting his wallet back in his pocket. Cheering internally, Jisung left enough to cover their food and a tip before grabbing Hyunjin’s hand to walk out, starting on their short trip home “I had fun today”

“It was alright” Hyunjin teased, Jisung’s favourite smirk playing on his lips, but his hand squeezed Jisung’s tighter before he could complain. “We should do it again sometime”

The walk back felt much quicker than the walk there and before they knew it, they were walking towards the front door. Jisung tugged on Hyunjin’s hand to stop him before he opened the door, ignoring the confused look on the other’s face in favour of turning him to face each other. “You know, normally, this is where you’d kiss me goodbye”

“Kissing on the first date? _Scandalous_ ” As Hyunjin was speaking, he stepped forward into Jisung’s space until the shorter had to tilt his head back to maintain eye contact.

“I might let you do more if you play your cards right” His eyes dropped to Hyunjin’s lips, before fluttering shut as hands settled on his hips, breath blowing across his lips. It was only seconds later when Hyunjin pressed his lips gently against his own, so light that Jisung automatically leaned forward to deepen the kiss. Like habit, Jisung’s hands wound up into blonde hair, pushing up onto tiptoes to push even closer. A wolf-whistle from someone walking down the street broke them from their own world, pulling apart with matching blushes.

“What do you say we take this upstairs?”

_“Let’s go”_


	10. Leap of Faith

The journey up the stairs was far less frantic than the first time, when they’d been drunk and overly-excitable.

It wasn’t that they were any less jittery as such, but Jisung trusted Hyunjin more than he ever thought he would – enough to know he’d take care of him. As they passed the first floor, a muffled moan broke the silence and their heads whipped around in the direction of Minho’s door, although the voice definitely belonged to Seungmin and not him. It seemed like love was in the air; Jisung silently prayed that Changbin and Felix weren’t also hanging out in their room. He didn’t really wasn’t any observers (or listeners), especially when he was sure he was going to be loud.

Following Hyunjin, he nearly bumped into his back when Hyunjin stopped suddenly in between their doors, looking between them several times before turning to raise an eyebrow at Jisung.

It took a moment for him to realise that Hyunjin was silently asking him where he wanted to go; the consideration that maybe Jisung would feel less nervous in his own bed made his chest swell with emotion. They normally ended up in Hyunjin’s room, simply for the fact it was probably cleaner and more often than not it was Jisung crawling in late at night when Hyunjin was already in his own bed.

Chewing on his bottom lip in thought, his eyes lingered on his own door and Hyunjin clearly took that as a sign, tugging Jisung along behind him as he pushed the younger’s door open. Jisung was thankful that his room was pretty clean and that he’d changed his sheets that morning as he was pushed gently onto his back on the bed. The layout of his own room was slightly different, with Jisung preferring to have his bed tucked into the corner rather than in the middle of the room.

He could faintly here the music their neighbours were playing through the wall and he was grateful for the break in the silence.

“You good?” He must have looked more nervous than he wanted to let on as Hyunjin crawled over him, bracing his elbows either side of Jisung’s head to duck down and pepper his face with kisses.

“Yeah, it’s just been a while” While that was true (it had been a _long_ while), his nerves also came from the fact that it was _Hyunjin_. Although this was the inevitable conclusion to their building tension, he just didn’t want to disappoint and the voices in his head were going crazy with little concerns that he knew were unfounded. Hyunjin didn’t look entirely convinced but said nothing in favour of kissing him, knowing that it was something that made Jisung melt under him. The trick worked and the shorter reached up to knead at broad shoulders, legs falling open so Hyunjin could fit better between them.

Much like their first time, it still took his breath away when Hyunjin’s hips ground into his own and it wasn’t long before he could feel himself fattening up in the confinement of his jeans.

Part of him had thought that it would be frantic and rushed with desire, but the way Hyunjin kissed him was almost lazy – but no less intense. His body thrummed as Hyunjin took him apart kiss by kiss until he’d almost forgotten why he’d been worried at all. Almost as if the taller knew, not long after the kisses moved from his lips to his jaw, not caring about the marks he would leave as sensitive skin was nipped and sucked until Jisung couldn’t stop the kicking of his hips.

Not wanting the whole thing to be over before it had even really begun, Jisung’s shaky hands tugged at the where Hyunjin’s turtleneck was tucked into his jeans until it slipped loose and he could lift it high enough for Hyunjin to have to sit back to pull it up over his head. Sat on his haunches between Jisung’s legs, Hyunjin shot him a smirk as his hands fell to his own belt buckle, making a show of tugging it out of the band of his jeans before popping the button. Instead of unzipping, Hyunjin’s hand slid up the front of Jisung’s shirt, lazily popping each button until his chest was bare.

Jisung sat up as best he could with his legs still splayed either side of Hyunjin’s to lose his shirt entirely, ducking forward to suck a pert nipple into his mouth before Hyunjin had the chance to get him on his back once again.

He loved the sounds Hyunjin made, especially given they didn’t happen too often and so he took the chance to unzip Hyunjin’s jeans, tugging them down just enough to be able to squeeze where the taller was straining against his boxers. Hyunjin let him fondle him for a few moments longer before Jisung found himself on his back, hair spread around his head like a halo. He moved his hands to cross beneath his head as a prop to see Hyunjin better as his own jeans were peeled off along with his boxers and socks.

It had taken a little while, but Jisung no longer felt uncomfortable being so open and bare before Hyunjin; instead, he watched with interest as the taller moved to rummage in his bedside table, already knowing that’s where Jisung kept his stuff. He returned with an almost empty bottle of lube and a condom. Raising the bottle with a smirk, the silent question on his lips had Jisung flushing. “What? You’re not always around…” He whined, squirming under the heady gaze until Hyunjin chuckled, placating him with yet another kiss as he popped the bottle open.

“You think of me when you do it?” Teasing lips descending to his chest, but Hyunjin’s eyes never left his face and Jisung attempted to roll his eyes in a failed act of nonchalance that ended up with his eyes rolled in the back of his head as Hyunjin teethed at his nipple. “Answer me”

“ _Fuck_ – yes! You know I do” Hyunjin hummed against him, tongue toying with his nipple as cool, wet fingers trailed over Jisung’s rim. His body tensed on instinct, legs twitching as if to close at the mostly foreign feeling of someone else touching him down there. Hyunjin’s eyes flicked back up to him – a silent check that he was doing OK – before his fingers continued in their circling, putting just enough pressure to loosen Jisung up until he could slide a single finger in.

Jisung mewled, eyes fluttering shut as Hyunjin’s finger reached deeper than his own ever could. The drag was slow and while he was thankful for the time to adjust, it set his nerves alight and he couldn’t help but squirm (he wasn’t sure whether he was trying to get away or get closer, but he did know that if this was how it felt with only one finger, he was never going to last long with more). Hips kicking when a second finger pushed in alongside the first; Hyunjin’s thumb joined to rub tight circles against his perineum.

Jisung’s eyes ripped open as lips left his chest before descending on his dick, until he slid almost fully into Hyunjin’s mouth. _“Hah~”_ The moan that left him was definitely too loud and he hurried to cover his own mouth, knowing the noises were never going to stop as long as he could see Hyunjin with a mouthful of him, sharp eyes watching him with a glint that sent a whole-body shiver through him.

The fingers in him scissored; the stretch was both familiar yet so much more intense than the nights he opened himself. Jisung couldn’t stop his body from writhing around, pushing himself further into Hyunjin until he felt the tip of his dick brush the back of the taller’s throat, which closed around him instinctively. Hyunjin coughed, not expecting the sudden intrusion and pulled back, a trail of drool still linking them. “Sorry” His apology was far too whiny to be serious and Hyunjin simply rolled his eyes, curling his fingers until he pressed against Jisung’s prostate in retaliation.

The response was instantaneous – Jisung’s body arched away from the bed with a deep groan of Hyunjin’s name, feet planted firmly on the bed.

“If you don’t hurry up, I’m gonna come like this” The complaint didn’t fall on deaf ears and before he could whinge any further, Hyunjin pushed in the third and final finger, leaning down to suck a hickie into the junction of Jisung’s hips when the younger winced. Taking a few deep breaths, Jisung forced himself to focus on anything but the dull ache that came with sex like this – the skin that Hyunjin’s mouth was attached to, the desire in his belly, the feeling of Hyunjin’s free hand pressed into his thigh.

It didn’t take him too long to relax enough for the slide of Hyunjin’s fingers to be that easy enough to push that little bit deeper, open him that little bit wider.

His skin was littered with marks by the time Hyunjin deemed him ready, pressing into his prostate one last time before slowly removing his fingers, wiping the excess lube haphazardly on Jisung’s sheets. Jisung watched with heavy lids as Hyunjin made quick work of the rest of his own clothes, eyes falling to where Hyunjin was red and swollen.

He could have sworn he saw Hyunjin’s hand shake a little as they tore open the condom packet, but before he could say anything, the taller was back over him. Large hands hooked under his thighs, pushing them gently towards Jisung’s chest until Jisung’s own hands reached up to hold them himself.

A silent look was shared – a moment of reassurance – as Hyunjin shuffled closed until his tip bumped against Jisung’s rim, eyes automatically flitting down to watch as he canted his hips forward to just put enough pressure to feel Jisung flutter against him. “Can I –“

“Yeah, Hyunjin _please_ ” He heard Hyunjin let out a small noise as he pushed forward, gentle enough that the initial stretch took forever and Jisung felt every second.

The tip slipped inside after what felt like an eternity and Jisung’s hands tightened, most likely leaving fingerprint-shaped bruises on the underside of his thighs. Hyunjin leaned over him further, shuffled closer as he pushed deeper until his hips were flush with Jisung’s ass, hand planted firmly either side of the younger’s head. A few strands of blonde hair had escaped from where it was tied up on his head, tickling Jisung’s face as he dipped for a clumsy kiss.

“ _Shit_ , you’re so tight” The words were grunted against his lips, teeth bared a little as Hyunjin clenched his own eyes shut, sucking in a sharp breath. 

Jisung tried his best to relax, letting go of his legs in favour of wrapping them around Hyunjin’s waist, arms winding around wide shoulders to press his lips into the crease of Hyunjin’s neck. After a few more minutes and hushed words of encouragement, the taller began shallow thrusts, barely pulling out before pushing in as far as their position would allow.

It had been so long – _too long,_ Jisung mused – since he’d felt this full, but it had never felt so right. Of course, there was a dull ache still present, but with each increasingly long thrust, he felt his muscles relaxing enough for the slide to be smoother. Maybe it was because Hyunjin meant something to him; because he genuinely trusted him not to take advantage. The boy Jisung had lost his virginity to had been a few years older than him and evidently only cared about his own pleasure, simply keeping Jisung around because the younger boy didn’t know better than to hang on to every lie he was promised. 

But those times were long gone and as Hyunjin whispered sweet nothings to him, hips picking up their pace until the tell-tale sound of slapping skin filled the room, he felt wanted.

Their breathing was laboured and Jisung could tell Hyunjin was getting frustrated at the angle, until hands clasped onto his waist as he pulled out. Jisung whined at the emptiness, even as he was rolled onto his stomach, hips being dragged up into the air until his back arched. From this angle, Hyunjin reached much deeper, sliding past Jisung’s prostate on the first attempt. The reaction was immediate. Jisung nearly wailed, hands desperately clawing at the sheets as his toes curled. Hyunjin’s noises weren’t much quieter; the extra stimulation only made Jisung clench tighter around him and it was impossible to slow down.

“Jinnie – _ah!”_ His body felt on fire, completely at Hyunjin’s mercy from the grip on his hips, tugging him back to meet harsh thrusts until the skin on his cheeks stung. He was hurtling towards the edge, each brush of his prostate launching him that bit further. He’d never come untouched before, but he was sure as hell that’s where he was headed. Feeling Hyunjin swell a little inside of him, it was obvious the taller wasn’t going to last long either and when Hyunjin lost his rhythm, letting out what he could only describe as a snarl, Jisung snapped.

His body tensed and bowed as he sprayed cum onto his sheets, mewling Hyunjin’s name as he heaved in a breath when the thrusts didn’t slow – if anything, Hyunjin only seemed to speed up, chasing his own release until he spilled into the condom with one last push into Jisung, who was squirming in sensitivity beneath him.

If was as if all the tension between them had boiled up to this moment as Jisung couldn’t even bring himself to care as Hyunjin folded over his back, pushing him into the wet sheets.

The room faded back to a comfortable quiet, the music from their neighbours still playing muffled in the background, even as Hyunjin pushed up on shaky arms to pull out. A quiet apology was muttered when Jisung winced, but he was easily placated with a kiss to his spine. Jisung cracked an eye to watch Hyunjin move around the room like it was his own, tossing the condom into the bin and finding clean boxers for both of them.

“We should probably go clean up” He gestured over his shoulder towards the door, rolling his eyes with a fond smile when Jisung’s protested, rolling out onto his back to stretch the muscles he was sure would sore the next day. “C’mon, I’ll wash your sheets too, if you get up” The whole situation was so domestic it made Jisung’s heart swell and it must have shown on his face if the flush that grew on Hyunjin’s face was anything to go by as he pointedly looked anywhere but at Jisung.

“Aren’t you a prince charming” There was a teasing lilt to his voice as Jisung pushed himself to stand on unsteady legs, stumbling easily into Hyunjin’s chest with a cheeky smile.

“What would that make you? A princess?” Jisung frowned, smacking Hyunjin’s ass as he chortled, pushing the younger in the direction of the door.

“We can both be princes you know, asshole”

“Whatever you say… _princess”_

_“Yah!”_


	11. Summertime Sadness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Angst warning on this one, it's gonna get a bit sad.

Jisung had often wondered if he had been dreaming this whole situation and that one day he’d wake up to the old Hyunjin. Their relationship had been smooth sailing ever since they’d settled their differences, almost _too much_ so. They hadn’t really fought at all; agreeing on most things and spending almost all of their time together – he thought they were unstoppable.

But all good things must come to an end, or at least hit a bump in the road so the speak.

For Jisung, his moment of realisation that maybe they’d been living in their own little bubble, so idyllic yet so fragile, came in the form of a pre-freshers party. They had a little over a week before term started officially, but that didn’t stop the eager returning students from wanting to get some partying in before the new students flocked to campus.

The party was being hosted in a house packed with students, much like their own, just slightly bigger, by someone Jisung vaguely remembered the name of. They’d all been excited to get out and socialise with people outside of their own little circle (as much as they loved each other, some of the boys were going a bit stir crazy) and drinks had flowed before they’d even made it out of their own front door.

As they’d arrived, the party was already in full swing; the sound of people laughing and the boom of the music could be heard before they’d even turned onto the right street.

Jisung had always had mixed feelings about parties like this. On one hand, he loved the organised chaos and the general buzz of everyone around him, drinks making it easier to make new friends or reconnect with old ones. However, crowds were sometimes overwhelming and it had been at a party just like this where he’d met the boy that had strung him along for 5 long months. But he was happy to put all that in the past to spend his first party as a couple with Hyunjin. Most people used parties like this to hook-up without and pretence or much thought for consequences – it was simply nice to know he already had someone to take him home when he’d inevitably get too drunk.

The 8 of them wound through the packed entrance, past the people spilling out onto the street with waves and polite smiles to anyone who met their eyes until they’d all squashed into the kitchen. Each and every surface was covered in drinks or snacks or empty cups, all evidence of the mess around them that made Jisung thankful they weren’t going to have to help clean when all was done.

Hyunjin was pressed almost fully against his back as bottle were passed over his head and to his right as they bickered over who wanted what drink, while Changbin had already commandeered a pack of hot Cheetos from god knows where.

A drink that had been made by Minho was passed to him and he sniffed it suspiciously. It smelled sweet enough for him not to care about what else was in it and he dipped his head back to glance at Hyunjin over his shoulder. The taller boy looked especially pretty that night, hair loose around a glowing face. Maybe he was a little biased, but Jisung swore that Hyunjin must have been the hottest person at the party.

A kiss was placed on his cheek before the warmth behind him moved, most likely to get his own drink, but Jisung’s attention was drawn away by a commotion in the backyard. A few of them moved outside, the rest splitting off between the rooms of the house. It seemed like a couple was already drunk enough to have forgotten that they were very much in public and Jisung sniggered as catcalls sounded off from around the yard as the boy backed the girl into the wall, hands wandering into areas that should be kept private.

It was easy to fall into conversation with the people around him and Jisung was introduced to several new people (most of whom he’d already forgotten the name on), who seemed nice enough, at least for easy conversation.

They were people that Felix knew and seemed quite pally with and so Jisung let himself get swept up in conversation about anything and everything, but he kept an eye on at least one of his friend’s whereabout at all times. The last thing he wanted was to end up lost and alone at a party like this.

The buzz of the alcohol was already starting to fuzz the edges of his mind and he found himself giggling at a joke he couldn’t even remember, leaning haphazardly into Jeongin’s side when the younger took up the seat next to him.

“You’re drunk Hyung” But so was the younger and it only served to set them off in another bout of giggles, watching with glee as someone set up a make-shift beer pong table in the yard. 

“Not drunk enough, wanna play?” He gestured to the table, waggling his eyebrows in a way he knew Jeongin found ridiculous, but it worked. The younger agreed with a roll of his eyes, but his smile was wide as he let Jisung lead him over to the table with a loud announcement that they wanted to play.

A pair of girls, who were loud enough to match even Changbin at his best, accepted the challenge and Jisung for a moment was unsure that they’d win when the girl who introduced herself as Lisa sunk the first shot with ease for how tipsy she seemed to be. The girls cheered and high-fived and Jisung pouted as he knocked back the half cup of beer (which was suspiciously warm, but not the worst he’d tasted).

Jisoo was next to take the shot and Jeongin cheered when the ball bounced on the rim and straight back out of their second cup. Jisung managed to sink their first shot, fist bumping Jeongin who managed to land their second, but Jisung missed their third by a mile and smiled sheepishly at his teammate when the girls made their next shot easy. 

By the time each team were left with one cup, Jisung and Jeongin were significantly less steady on their feet, as were the girls, who they’d come to learn were actually super funny. It was Jisoo’s turn and if she landed it, the boys would lose. They’d garnered a little crowd who were cheering indiscriminately for whoever was winning at the time, but they fell silent in anticipating as Jisoo closed one eye to line   
up her shot.

The ball flew for a few seconds before landing squarely in the boys’ last cup with a quiet splash that was immediately overwhelmed with cheers as Lisa picked Jisoo up to swing her around clumsily.

Jisung groaned, knowing that the contents of the last cup were for him to drink, shooting Jeongin a pathetic look before knocking it back. After congratulating and chatting a little more with the two girls, who he figured he could potentially see as genuine friends in the future, Jisung wandered off alone into the kitchen. His cup was empty and he was riding the buzz, a happy kind of tipsy that made it easy to reach for more drink.

What he didn’t expect was for someone to start a conversation with him. A boy that looked maybe around Minho’s age was sat on one of the counters, swigging directly out of a bottle of cheap looking whisky. He smiled a lopsided grin at Jisung, eyes clearly raking over him before he took another swig. “Well hello cutie” Jisung flustered, not knowing how he was supposed to respond to the attention from the stranger; turning his back momentarily to mix himself another drink of fruit juice and vodka “The shy type, huh?”

The boy took his silence as a chance to introduce himself, ignoring any possible signs of rejection before Jisung could even begin. “I’m Minjun, what’s you name?” 

“Jisung” He glanced at the door, kind of hoping someone else would come in and save him. Minjun didn’t seem like a bad guy per say, but Jisung knew the type. The handsome and self-assured type with the smile was promised the world, but it masked a world of secrets and hurt that Jisung was all-too familiar with.

“Pretty name… suits you” His words slurred slightly as he swallowed another mouthful of whiskey before offering the bottle to Jisung, who grimaced and turned it down.

“Thanks” He chuckled awkwardly, grabbing a paper straw to stir his drink, adding a handful of ice from the freezer. As he turned around, pushing the freezer door shut, he found Minjun had moved from the counter to stand right behind him and Jisung almost bumped into him as he turned. The shock made him jolt back, knocking his head against the fridge door.

“Careful there darlin’” Minjun closed in on him and Jisung could smell the whiskey on his breath. Had he been less drunk, he might have been more forceful in his rejection, but as it was, he barely managed to squirm out from between the fridge and the other boy, grabbing his drink and quickly ducking out of the kitchen with an awkward wave.

Feeling a little overwhelmed, his first instinct was to look for one of the boys, preferably Hyunjin.

It was as Jisung stumbled through the house looking for Hyunjin that his stomach lurched and he froze. From across the crowded room, Jisung could just about make out Hyunjin’s back from where he was stood talking to someone. The issue was with who he was talking to. A pretty petite blonde girl that Jisung recognised all too well was stood in front of Hyunjin, manicured hands moving to squeeze at Hyunjin’s arms.

That girl was Jessica – Hyunjin’s ex-girlfriend.

They’d been dating for a little under 7 or 8 months, for the most part of his and Hyunjin’s first year at university, having broken up only 4 or so months earlier. Obviously, he didn’t know all that much about her, given he and Hyunjin had been on less-than-favourable terms until recently. But he knew that for the most part, they’d been happy and when they’d broken up it was because her parents had wanted her to focus more on her studies without the distraction of dating.

Hyunjin seemed to shrug her off a little, but evidently it was not enough to put her off. Maybe now that exam season was over, she was hoping to rekindle things between them.

It was as if all of Jisung’s anxieties slammed into him all at once, with this combined with his kitchen encounter. How was he supposed to compete with something that had only ended because of external circumstances? He had no idea how Hyunjin felt about her and although a little part of himself tried to tell him that Hyunjin liked him now, he couldn’t help but wonder if the taller would be tempted.

As far as he knew, Hyunjin had never seriously dated a boy before and that did nothing to soothe his worries. Dating a boy and dating a girl was truly so different that if the elder still had lingering feelings, there was a good chance Jisung simply couldn’t compare. The feeling in the pit of his stomach grew until he felt like he was going to be sick, but he just couldn’t drag his eyes away or will his feet to move closer.

Even over the music and the crowd, Jisung could almost hear Jessica’s giggle as she sidled closer, eyes fluttering up to glance at Hyunjin through her eyelashes.

From Jisung’s current position, it was almost impossible to gauge Hyunjin’s reaction as pretty much all he could see was his back; but the jealous part of him noted that the taller could easily have ended their conversation by now if he had really wanted. While he and Hyunjin had been intimate and admitted that there were definitely feelings involved, they’d yet to put a label on their relationship and Jisung knew that maybe he had no right to demand exclusivity yet, but part of him wished that he had.

The moment Jessica stepped close enough to reach up to place her hands on Hyunjin’s shoulders, Jisung knew he had to leave. He felt like he was suffocating, surrounded by people he barely knew, in a house he’d never been to before. Pushing through the throng of people until the front door was in sight, he ignored the distant call of his name from what sounded like Changbin to stumble out onto the street.

Ignoring the weird looks the few people lingering outside gave him, his feet took off in a random direction. He just needed to be anywhere but there.

He was definitely too drunk to know how to get home when he’d barely paid attention on the walk here, but he knew that if he stopped or slowed down, he’d probably start to cry and that was even less help than his current state of panic. After about 10 minutes of staggering along empty pavements in the dark, he saw a small park with a swing-set and a climbing frame coming up on his left.

The feeling in his stomach was still bubbling away until it was too much to ignore and he hunched over, emptying the contents of his stomach over a drain on the street. While the sick feeling eased a little after, he felt no less wobbly and no less emotional as he forced himself forward until he could slouch into one of the swings.

The city was oddly silent around him, as if mocking him further the more he thought about it, until the tears falling were inevitable.

He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt like this, as sobs wracked his body, strikingly loud through the night around him. Part of him hopelessly prayed that one of his friends – that _Hyunjin_ , had somehow followed him and that he’d be swept up and taken home and everything would be ok.

But as the minutes dragged on and he was left only with misery as company, he’d never felt so _alone._


	12. The Sun Comes Up As We're Walking Home

Jisung wasn’t sure exactly how long he’d been sat on the swings. The last time he’d checked his phone (which was a while after he’d first arrived, when he’d finally calmed down enough to stop the sobs), the clock had read a little after 4 and he’d assumed he’d probably left the party around 2 maybe.

The texts and calls had started around 3, so it was safe to assume that was when the boys had reconvened to leave and had finally noticed his absence. He’d ignored all of the calls, not exactly feeling up to conversation, especially not when he would have to explain where he’d gone and why he’d left. He had however, shot Chan a text telling him that he was ok and that he’d be home soon. He’d debated replying to Hyunjin too, but he wasn’t sure he was ready for that yet.

Part of him still felt stupid for making assumptions about Hyunjin’s actions, but the bigger insecure part of him told him that he saw what he saw and it was hard to justify being that close with a recent ex when your current partner was at the same party. Jisung was torn between feeling angry and betrayed and exhausted and embarrassed. He hated being the centre of attention in this way – he felt like a spectacle, like a burden.

The alcohol that had flooded his system had mellowed until the edges of a hangover pulled at his head, although maybe the headache came from all the crying.

Late summer mornings were still getting bright quite early and Jisung could just make out the sunrise over the houses surrounding the park. He figured it was probably about time to head home soon, now that he had wasted a lot of his emotions, it would be easier to make the walk home without incident.

Before he could make a move to leave, movement caught his eye and he lifted his head to look at the Ajumma who was opening up a tiny shop tucked between residential buildings. She glanced in his direction and paused, head tilting as if she was debating something. Jisung knew he must have looked like shit, still in the previous night’s clothes, stinking of alcohol with a red and puffy face.

Still, the woman waved a hand at him, beckoning him over with a concerned face before disappearing inside.

Pushing onto his feet, his body wobbled as if to give out for a moment, but he managed to stay upright, wandering over until he stood just shy of the entrance, not wanting to intrude. A glance inside told him that the shop sold traditional teas and rice cakes – a rarity these days that he felt almost undeserving of finding on a morning like this.

It only took a minute more for the woman to reappear with a teapot and two cups on a tray, with a small packet of what Jisung assumed to be homemade rice cakes.

“Come sit” There were only a few two-person tables out front of the shop and Jisung obediently followed, sitting opposite the woman, who barely spared a him a glance as she poured their tea. “This is Omija tea, it’s good for fatigue and detoxing the body” She pushed one of the small teacups in his direction along with the rice cakes.

“Thank you” His voice was quiet and he accepted the drink gratefully, avoiding eye contact as he took a sip. The tea was rather strong, but he was in no position to complain, given the woman had wordlessly helped a stranger – one that reeked of alcohol no less. “You’re very kind”

“It’s not often we get young men sat alone in parks this late – or early I suppose. You looked like you needed company” Her face was almost stern in nature, wrinkles showing she’d had a hard life, but her gaze was kind.

“I’m sorry for the disturbance… I’m not normally like this” He gestured in the direction of the park in a hopeless attempt at recovering some of his dignity. He had no idea whether she’d heard him crying or if she’d simply trusted that he wasn’t a threat to her safety. Either way, Jisung trailed off as he slowly ate some of the chewy rice cake, clearly fresh from the texture and it helped to settle his stomach along with the tea.

“I assumed as much, no need to apologise to me young man” She smiled and her eyes crinkled and it only made Jisung think of Hyunjin once again. She must have noticed the sudden drop in his mood and tilted her head, smile falling from her lips as frail fingers warmed themselves on her own cup. “I don’t know how you found yourself in that park, but I know there much be a reason. I can lend an ear if sharing would ease your burden”

“I – My partner, we’re not officially together but we’re exclusive, or I _thought_ we were – “ He huffed in frustration, frowned down at the tea as he collected his thoughts for a moment. “There was a party and I went looking for him and he was with his ex… I didn’t really see all that much, but I’d had a weird night and it just kind of sent me over the edge and I ended up here”

She observed him for a moment longer before nodding more to herself than to Jisung, it seemed. “Love is like a rocky mountain path, you might lose your way or think it’s too tough, but if you make the climb and reach the top, there’s nothing that can replace the reward” If she had been bothered by Jisung’s sexuality, she didn’t show it. “This boy, is he worth the climb?”

The question was simple enough but it made Jisung think. “I thought he was, we’ve come so far… but” Trailing off again, Jisung wasn’t sure whether she was telling him to leave Hyunjin or stick it out.

“If the only ‘but’ is a speculation, then you simply need to gather yourselves and carry on up the path” Her view was now clear and it helped cut through the fog in Jisung’s mind, lighting a little flame of hope within him. Hyunjin deserved at least a chance to explain himself and it would then be clear whether things were going to move forward or not. Maybe Jisung was just scared it was going to be the latter option, but assuming as much was only going to bring the end quicker.

“Thank you, I really mean it” Their cups were empty and Jisung no longer felt like he was going to throw up all over again. The uneasy feeling was still sat firmly in his stomach and most likely wouldn’t go until he had some clarification on his and Hyunjin’s relationship, but having an outsider’s opinion was actually a relief. There was no prejudice from the old woman, nor any knowledge of his and Hyunjin’s past – she made it all seem to easy.

“Don’t mention it, if you ever find yourself in the area again, do be sure to drop by” Jisung offered to help clean up the tea set, but he was firmly waved off. With only last ‘thank you’, Jisung set about the walk home.

The battery on his phone was basically dead, but he’s just managed to keep it alive long enough to figure out directions. The park was maybe a thirty minute walk from their house and Jisung used every moment of it to try and set out a mental plan of how he wanted their conversation to go. There were things he knew he needed to get off his chest and commitments they’d need to make to each other if this was going to work. But he knew that he couldn’t put himself between Hyunjin and his ex if the elder still liked them both.

He definitely didn’t want to break up and go back to a pointless resentment, but he had to be realistic with his expectations.

By the time he could see his own front door approaching, the nerves were back in full force. He had no idea what he’d be walking into – who would be awake, would they be waiting for him, would they be angry – scenarios buzzed around his brain even as he pushed his key into the lock as quietly as he could.

The house was (as expected) eerily quiet at barely after half 4 in the morning and Jisung moved extra slow in order to keep noise to a minimum. Shutting the door took what felt like forever, especially when the click of their lock was so distinct. He froze when the noise startled something in the living room. He’d been avoiding looking, but his eyes were glued to where Hyunjin stumbled to the edge of the living room in his haste.

Even when he was clearly hungover and exhausted and stressed, Jisung was struck by how Hyunjin was still so pretty that it hurt.

“Jisung” The relief was audible and it pulled at Jisung’s heart in the worst way knowing that he’d worried them all, that he’d worried _Hyunjin_. It was painfully easy to let the taller crush him against a broad chest, arms wrapped around him like they weren’t ever going to let him go. All the emotions he’d been working on keeping down were immediately at the surface again and he felt his eyes burn all over again. He knew it wasn’t the best idea to press his face into Hyunjin’s neck, breathing in that familiar smell, when everything was so up in the air. 

He did it anyway.

Jisung felt his own hands shake as he cried, reached around to grasp at the t-shirt that Hyunjin had clearly changed into. It took him a moment to realise it was one of his own shirts that was oversized and he often slept in.

It had to mean something that Hyunjin had chosen something of Jisung’s while he waited for him to come home. When Jisung mustered up enough strength to push gently at Hyunjin until the taller relented enough for him to move back, Hyunjin’s eyes were red and shiny too. “I’m sorry” It wasn’t what he’d meant to open with – always apologising and never standing up for himself was a trait he’d been trying to kick. It was even more dumb given that when he and Hyunjin had still used to fight, he never apologised. The word sounded foreign even to himself and he winced when Hyunjin frowned.

“What?” There was a tense pause between them as Jisung shook his head, fidgeting for a moment before gesturing towards the sofa. There was no point having this conversation stood awkwardly in the hallway.

Curling up on one end of the sofa, cushion pressed against his chest with his legs tucked, Jisung watched as Hyunjin sat a little further away than normal, body turned enough to face him. “Please just wait until I’m done before you say anything, OK? I don’t want this to get any more mixed up than it already is” The frown was ever-present on Hyunjin’s mouth, but he nodded nonetheless. “So I was pretty drunk, maybe I’m still a bit drunk but – anyway, there was this boy in the kitchen, he kind of cornered me and was pretty intense about his _thoughts_ and I just felt uncomfortable and overwhelmed, you know”

He took a breath, eyes flicking away from the growing tension on Hyunjin’s brow to watch where his own fingers were playing with a lose bit of thread on the cushion. “So obviously, I went looking for _you_ and I found you… stood with Jessica” A frown marred his own face as the memory that both felt so distant yet so fresh in his mind. “I saw the flirting Hyunjin and I just panicked, so I left” He didn’t think the rest of the story was worth telling – it was embarrassing enough to know that he did it, let alone have to admit to crying alone in a park.

Hyunjin was silent for a moment, eyes filled with too many things for Jisung to keep up with before he opened and shut his mouth a few times, which did nothing to soothe Jisung’s nerves.

“It wasn’t, I wasn’t – why didn’t you just come over, or find one of the others?” The slur was still slightly present and Jisung mused that maybe they shouldn’t have had this conversation so soon. Part of him had hoped that Hyunjin would rush to comfort him, not jump to his own defence. Jisung knew that he could have – _should have_ done either of those things, but in that moment he couldn’t.

“I don’t know what else to say, I saw what I saw and reacted” Sighing, Jisung felt the weight of his sleepless night hit him like a truck. This wasn’t going how he had hoped at all; maybe he'd let the old woman put too many ideas in his head. Pushing to stand on slightly unsteady feet, he tried not to cry again when Hyunjin immediately moved to stand too. “You know what, it doesn’t matter Hyunjin” As calmly as he could on shaky legs, Jisung made for the stairs, wary not to wake the others.

“Wait – where are you going?” The frustration was clear in the taller’s voice, but Jisung couldn’t argue with him. Not right now.

“To bed, I’m tired” He knew Hyunjin was following him up the stairs, voices dropping to harsh whispers as they passed the first floor. “You should get some sleep too”

“I stayed up for _you_! You can’t just fucking disappear on me like that Jisung” With their doors in sight, Jisung felt his own anger bubbling up behind the tears that were threatening to fall.

“Well you can’t let your ex-girlfriend hang off you when you’re with me!” He couldn’t help the raising of his voice, wiping desperately at his eyes as he finally reached his own door. He could hear Hyunjin approach him as he pushed the door open and quickly shut it behind himself, body sliding down the door as he heard the footsteps stop immediately, before Hyunjin’s own door slammed shut.

“ _Fuck_ ” Dropping his head into his hands, Jisung realised that this was the first night they hadn’t slept in the same bed in a while. His room was too quiet, too cold, too empty.

_Fuck, indeed._


	13. Candid Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I think i'm finally over my mental block, at least enough to write something, so please look forward to more chapters!

When Jisung woke from what little sleep he’d managed to get, the sun was already high in the sky, beating through his thin curtains. Surprisingly, his hangover was pretty minimal but he guessed that the tea he’d been given had probably helped prevent the sickness that normally came after he drank so much. He felt a bit grim though, desperately in need of a shower, or maybe a soak in the bath. 

As he lazily pushed himself to sit up, duvet pooling around his waist, a gentle knock on his door disturbed him from his thoughts.

He froze for a moment, stomach immediately full of butterflies (and not the good kind) as he pondered who would be behind the door. It could be literally any of them – although it was significantly less likely to be Minho, Seungmin or Jeongin. Pushing to stand, Jisung shuffled over to the door, opening it just enough to see who was outside. Or well… it would have been, had there been someone stood outside of his door.

Instead, there was a tray on the floor (a red one with reindeers on, from the random collection they’d grown over the years) with a plate of toast and jam and a steaming mug of hot chocolate.

Jisung worried at his bottom lip as he glanced up and down the hallway, but he was the only one around, although he could hear movement from downstairs. There was also a folded piece of paper tucked just under the plate, which he eyed as he picked up the tray and retreated back into his room.

Placing it gently on his bed, Jisung settled next to it, idly picking up a slice of toast to much as his other hand played with the folded sheet. After a moment of failed attempts at calming his nerves, Jisung cursed under his breath and flipped the paper open, seeing Hyunjin’s distinctive handwriting on the inside.

_‘Sungie,_

_I’m sorry for last night, I should have listened to what you were saying more. I just want you to know that you’re the only one for me and I promise I didn’t do anything stupid. Please don’t shut me out. I’ll see you when I’m back from the gym._

_P.S. Enjoy your breakfast’_

The message was short but pretty to-the-point and it lifted at least some of the weight off Jisung’s shoulders. He knew Hyunjin wasn’t the only one who should be apologising. His anxiety had always riddled him, leading to him jumping to conclusions on more than one occasion. There was nothing Jisung wanted more than to talk it out with Hyunjin, but last night would have gotten them nowhere. As much as he hated how it happened, he was glad they were talking with a fresh start to the day.

Running his thumb over the scrawl, Jisung finished off the triangle-cut slice of toast, before turning his attention to the mug.

The fact that Hyunjin had gone through extra effort to make him something sweet, knowing that it was his favourite, warmed his heart. They might have their issues, but Hyunjin clearly listened and cared about the things Jisung told him.

He wasn’t sure how long Hyunjin would be gone, but he desperately needed to freshen up before the other came home. Idly flicking through Instagram, Jisung finished off his toast and hot chocolate, enjoying indulging in such a decadent breakfast for as long as he could before moving the tray to his desk.

It was a blessing that the hallway and bathroom were still empty as he crept in and locked the door behind him, towel in hand.

Deciding a bath was definitely more appealing right now than a shower, Jisung set the hot water running with a generous splash of his favourite cherry scented bubble bath. Waiting for the tub to fill, he set about his morning business, brushing his teeth and washing his face at the sink until he no longer looked like he’d spent hours crying.

Stripping and dumping his dirty clothes in the communal hamper (that he made a mental note to empty and wash), Jisung set an R&B playlist off on his phone before he slid into the bath with a pleased sigh. There was nothing quite like a bath that was borderline too hot; heat sinking into tense muscles as he sunk lower until the water lapped at his chin. His brain whirred with all the things he wanted to say to Hyunjin, all the things he needed to say sorry for and the things they’d need to work on to go forward.

A selfish part of him missed the easiness they’d fallen into at the beginning of their relationship (if you could call it that without a label); missed the attention and the honeymoon glow.

At the end of the day, Jisung wasn’t sure he could continue without putting a label on whatever it was they were. He didn’t want to pressure Hyunjin or push him too fast, but for his own sanity, he needed to know Hyunjin was truly 100% in it with him. Heaving a heavy sigh, Jisung let his eyes slip closed, dipping a little lower until he was breathing through his nose; warm bubbly water covering the lower half of his face.

What felt like no time at all must have been far longer than he’d realised, because before he’d even had the chance to wash his hair or anything, a tentative knock sounded on the door, sounding all too similar to that morning. “Yeah?” Jisung’s eyes whipped open and he rushed to sit up properly, nearly sloshing water over the side of the bath.

“It’s me” Hyunjin’s voice was muffled through the door but it still sent waves of emotion through Jisung.

“It’s unlocked” It was an open-ended statement, that Jisung knew Hyunjin could take either way. But he was secretly pleased when the door was immediately cracked open and Hyunjin’s head peaked around the wood; the hesitancy in his eyes didn’t sit well with Jisung and he made an effort to shoot the taller a genuine smile, hands idly playing with the bubbles that were beginning to deflate. “Hi”

“Hey” Hyunjin seemed to relax enough to shoot him a tired smile back, clearly a little worn out from their late night combined with his trip to the gym (why the boys insisted on sweating out their hangover, Jisung would never understand). Jisung watched as the other slid into the room, shutting the door gently behind him, taking a moment before deciding to lock the door. Honestly, Jisung was surprised no one had accidentally interrupted him already; although maybe they were all keeping their distance until the tension had been resolved.

There was an awkward pause, as neither of them knew quite what to say, until Jisung couldn’t take the silence any more.

“Do you want to get in, the water’s still warm?” He wasn’t sure whether Hyunjin would take him up on his offer, or whether he’d want to talk first. Hyunjin eyed the bath for a moment, before starting to strip. Jisung wasn’t sure whether he should look or not, as silly as it sounded, given he’d been far more intimate with Hyunjin naked than sharing a bath.

The tub probably wasn’t meant for two growing boys to fit in together, but they made it work. Luckily, the taps were installed along the side of the bath that was flush to the wall and so with some shuffling, Jisung found himself sat opposite Hyunjin, legs tucked to one side of Hyunjin with the taller’s legs caging either side of him, knees peaking above the water.

Hyunjin had clearly thought ahead and had unhooked the shower head from it’s position, resting it on the side of the bath to use to wash their hair.

“How was the gym?” The small talk was clearly just used to have something to talk about, but Jisung would rather that then wait for Hyunjin to broach the previous night in person.

“It was good, Binnie Hyung nearly spewed in the bin once or twice” Pretty lips pulled into an easy smile, muscles relaxing into the water the same way Jisung’s had and it warmed a part of him that had been left feeling sensitive after their fight. “Did you eat your breakfast?” Sharp eyes were once again nervous as they flitted over Jisung’s face and the shorter cursed himself for not thanking Hyunjin already.

“I loved it, thank you” His hand moved without him really realising, fingers trailing patterns idly on Hyunjin’s knee. He’d missed this; just being able to touch and enjoy the other’s presence. How had the party gone so wrong?

Hyunjin bit his lip, eyes locked on to where Jisung was playing with his knee. “We should probably talk about yesterday, if that’s ok” Jisung hummed in agreement, figuring it was probably best to let Hyunjin explain rather than bombard him with questions; the last thing he wanted to do was fight again. “I should probably explain how I ended up talking to Jess”

Jisung hummed in agreement, breaking eye contact to watch the remaining bubbles begin to burst around them, leaving a gentle froth behind. “I didn’t know she’d be there firstly, I need you to know I didn’t plan on seeing her behind your back” One of Hyunjin’s hands hesitantly mirrored Jisung’s, fingertips gently brushing against the skin of Jisung’s legs. “She came over and said hello, how’re you… those kinds of things and we just chatted about how we’d been – I told her about us, you know” Hyunjin paused, clearly waiting for Jisung to say something.

“What did she say? She looked like she wanted to reconnect from where I was standing” (Which to be fair, wasn’t a very good angle) Jisung just needed to make sure that she wouldn’t crop back up as an issue later on, his heart couldn’t take it.

“She seemed surprised, obviously” Hyunjin smiled at him briefly, the kind that he smiled when he was genuinely amused. “Most people are pretty surprised” Jisung couldn’t help but return the smile with a small one of his own. It was true – no one expected them to be where they are and it was kind of funny to watch the realisation on people’s faces who’d known them when they used to fight. “Anyway, looking back, maybe you’re right about her flirting a little. I did tell her that I wasn’t interested because I’m happy with you though”

“I’m happy with you too, Jinnie” That was the truth; for the most part, they’d been nothing but sunshine and rainbows but every relationship had it’s downs to match the ups.

“But you weren’t yesterday and it really hurts, I’m sorry that I couldn’t be there for you when you needed me. I promise that it won’t happen again” Jisung could feel the emotions bubble up within him at the sincerity he saw in Hyunjin’s eyes. He’d been daft to let what was in reality such a small thing bother him so much.

“I’m sorry too” He could see the furrow of Hyunjin’s brows and cut the other off before he could ask. “I jumped to conclusions… I know I’m insecure, I promise to work on that” He meant it too. As much as the party had gone bad, Jisung hadn’t exactly helped himself in the situation and maybe things would have gone differently if he’d simply spoken to Hyunjin before panicking. “There’s one thing though…”

“Yeah?” Jisung’s eyes caught the way Hyunjin swallowed nervously and honestly it matched his own emotions, swirling in the pit of his stomach.

“I’d like to be official” There was a moment of silence between them, eye contact never breaking as Jisung let Hyunjin think for a moment. “I don’t know if I can do this without knowing that we’re serious” Was it a lot to ask? He didn’t really know; he’d never been in a situation like the one they were currently in, moving from enemies to friends to lovers.

“Oh my _god_ Jisung, I thought you were going to say something bad” Hyunjin seemed to sag in relief, dipping a little further under the water as he let his head loll back onto the rim of the tub behind him. “Of course I want to be your boyfriend” Hyunjin sounded as if he couldn’t believe Jisung had ever questioned that and it was like a wave of calm washed over him, butterflies easing at how good boyfriend sounded.

Jisung could feel the dumb smile grow on his face until he heard Hyunjin snort, cat eyes half-lidded as he watched the younger. “We’re stupid, aren’t we?” Jisung whined, sitting up in the water that was cooling off around them to make grabby hands at the taller, who simply rolled his eyes fondly and leaned up to meet Jisung half way.

“ _You’re_ stupid” The smirk on his face told Jisung that he was just being wound up and he pouted, baiting Hyunjin into kissing the pout away. The kiss was soft, not much more than a peck but it lingered and Jisung could feel the itch to get closer build. Whether it was fighting or fucking, there was something about Hyunjin that Jisung craved. “Let’s get out, it’s getting cold”

The water sloshed dangerously around them as they left the bath, Hyunjin leaning over to pull the plug after them. The cool air sent goosebumps across his skin, as Jisung wrapped himself in a towel, handing the other over to Hyunjin.

“Want to watch that shitty rom-com you keep talking about?”

“ _She’s the man?_ ” The excitement was evident in the youngers voice as he was bustled out and into Hyunjin’s room before he even had time to make the choice. He let Hyunjin dry him off, rubbing a towel over his head until his hair no longer dripped. So he liked to be doted on – _sue him._

He was just happy that things seemed to be on the mend; that Hyunjin – his _boyfriend_ – tucked him under a duvet that smelled like him and set up his laptop to watch a film Hyunjin would probably hate.

Things were going to be just fine.


End file.
